I think I'm going to be playing catch up for several days maybe even for a week, as I've been on vacation visiting family and friends and enjoying quality time with hubby. We just returned home last night and have already returned to our "normal" routine and life. The break from home, from reality has definitely been a good one, a much needed one. More on that later ;)
#CaptureYourGrief - Day 8: Resource
When we first lost Preston, we were referred to an organization in Denver named Angel Eyes which supports families who suffer the loss of a child. Through this organization we were able to meet with a counselor and other parents who are going through a similar journey as ours. Some parents lost their baby seven years ago, some one year ago and some months ago, just like us. Personally, meeting with the counselor on a one-on-one level didn't help me all that much. I was just telling my story, to one more person. She prompted me to talk, but didn't really offer anything that I felt was helpful. I was looking for answers. I was looking for what to expect. I was looking, well for who knows what. You don't know what you need when something so traumatic happens. The monthly meetings though, they have helped. Being able to relate to other people, to know what I'm feeling isn't crazy. To know I'm not alone going through this. To see others surviving. It brings hope, and I can usually take away something from each session, which helps me through my journey.
The BabyCenter forums have helped me a lot. There are several. The SIDS/Infant Loss board. The Bereaved Parents board. The Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss Support board. Through each board, I have found the support of other women. Some who had a recent loss like mine, others who have been helping others after their own loss which occur a long time ago. Through these boards, I developed a need to help others, and offer an alternative to the darkness that surrounds loss. Somehow bring a ray of hope. Through these boards, I also discovered several blogs that have helped me.
Fish Bite Moonbeams is the blog written by Krystal, mom to angels Conner and Benjamin. Krystal has taught me that there is still happiness to be found after loss. That there is still a way to think about my son, and smile. That there is still a way to connect with him even though he is not physically with me. She writes beautifully, shares a lot of pictures, so much so, that I now feel like I've known her forever. She is my friend. Krystal lost her twin boys, Conner and Benjamin on 1/10/14. They were born breathing and were with her and her husband for a little while until they passed that same day. She also deals has had fertility treatments.
HereComesTheSun. is Nora's blog. Nora writes poignant letters to her daughter Josie on a consistent basis. She tells her about the world, about her feelings, about her memories. She teaches her about life, mothering her the way one should. I'm still playing catch up on the older posts of Nora's blog, but I believe she miscarried her daughter early in 2014. I apologize if the information is incorrect, but that's what I remember reading. Her loss though, just like any loss, is just as significant as any other, and I admire the truth and openness Nora has about her feelings, her journey. I find a lot of strength and motivation by reading Nora's entries.
the lewis note is a blog written by Rachel. Rachel writes with a lot of passion. Her posts touch me deeply. Rachel is the mama to 4 angels - Olivia, Caleb, Elliott and Sophie Grace. She's dealt with these incredible losses on top of infertility. She's a mom to her daughter Maddy as well as a foster mom. There's a lot of strength there. A lot of motivation. A lot of love. I aspire to be as good a person as Rachel.
Resources. They are all around us. We often take them for granted - water, air, iron, sun. Our friends and family along with other people through we meet through the magic of the internet are great resources. Don't be afraid to reach out, or look for help - for blogs that might help you realize, that you aren't alone in your journey, whatever it might be.
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