Movie night

I never went to the movies much as a kid, nor did we really watch movies as a family.  We played outside a lot, or played board games.  We watched some TV shows or sports, but rarely a movie.  I'm not sure the reason behind it.  I've seen some classics at the theatre, like "Snow White & The Seven Dwarves" and "Titanic", but I'm not much of a movie goer.  It's been tough because it's not that I don't enjoy the experience, but sometimes, the intensity of the experience is just too much for me to stomach and I end up feeling ill.  Blame Crohn's disease I guess, or maybe it's just in my mind.

I still don't go to the movies much.  On top of struggling with the experience, I also struggle with the price...why pay an easy $40.00 (tickets, drinks and snacks) when we can buy the movie for less and watch it in the comfort of our own home?  Maybe I'm too frugal for my own good... if I was less, maybe I'd have more fun.  I do enjoy a good movie though, so I will try to make an effort to go... it's one of my husband's favorite things!

On day 14 of my 30 days of gratitude challenge, I am thankful for a quiet movie night at home with Brett.  That's what we did tonight.  We watched "Blended" with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler.  It was a good movie.  I laughed.  I cried.  I guess I'm extremely sensitive to some subjects now... or maybe just more sensitive than I used to be.

In the movie, Sandler's wife has passed away and one of the kids really struggles with having lost her mom.  And at some point, she feels like she has to let her mom "go".  But she's scared, because she doesn't want to lose her mom all over again.  I can totally relate.  I've certainly already lost Preston, on Earth.  I can't ever imagine not thinking about him every day.  Not talking to him in my head.  But this little girl has to let her go, because she's still in denial, and I can easily imagine being in her shoes.  I sometimes think I'm in denial.  How else can I explain being able to go on every day?

Movies, have a way to taking you on a journey - whatever journey the characters are going through.  Of course, this usually depends on how good the acting is.  The journey can be eventful like an adventure.  That adventure can be sad, or difficult, or happy, or challenging.  That adventure can be totally outlandish or unbelievable.  The journey can be filled with a series of absurd events that can only make you laugh. 

But most of all, I think I just enjoy the quiet, alone time I get with my husband.  Life can be so busy.  Commute to work, work, commute back home, make dinner, clean up, write blog, time for bed!  How quickly the days go by.  This is a nice time to spend together and feel together and remind ourselves how well we fit together by what moves us.  Or it's nice to be able to cry and be held.  I could easily cry every day, but I feel like part of me is so numb, yet so fragile that the slightest trigger can send me over the edge.

There are still so many classic movies I haven't seen... Time to make movie night a weekly tradition?  Me thinks so :)  I know someone that would make sooo happy!  And isn't that my goal anyways?  Spread happiness to honor my son.  And what best way, than to make his dad smile? :)  That thought just warms my heart already.

My hubby

Day 2 of 30 days of gratitude

I am so thankful for my husband.  Our journey is not the typical one.  We didn't first meet in person.  We didn't get set-up.  We didn't meet on a dating website.  We did meet online, but neither of us was looking for a relationship.  When we first "met" I was actually in a relationship, but he became a good friend and it was always nice to talk to him.

We decided to see where things could go in the summer of 2006.  We were both single, and just had a good rapport.  We sent each other messages online every day, and talked on the phone for at least an hour every night.  It really helped us have a great communication basis.  And while, I still have an easier time expressing myself in writing, I know that I can tell him anything.  So not only did the strong communication give us a good base, it also established a lot of trust.  The distance also helped establish that trust.  You can imagine that living 3000 miles apart for a year and a half (11 months of it being married) can either make or break you.  If there's no trust, there's no way the relationship will work.

And so, 8 years after we started dating, and 7 years into our married life, we are still going strong.  Don't get me wrong, we've had our bumps in the road, but whatever life throws at us, I think it usually makes us stronger.

But enough about my marriage, I want to talk about my husband.  If you know my husband, you probably know that he's not the most patient person in the world.  However, you have to know that he's patient with me.  He's had to deal with the ups and downs of my health and he's been there through thick and thin.  He's had to make hard decisions when I was too out of it to make any kind of decision.  He's been patient with allowing me to heal after losing Preston.  We both want children really badly, and I think he's been ready to try again for a while, but I haven't.  And he's patient with me.  No pressure.  I just know where he's at, and he knows that when I'm ready, I will let him know.  He's been patient with my needing to figure out my own working out routine.  I know he wants to help, but for me to stick with it, I need to find my own motivation or I'll just give up in a few weeks.  I know he struggles with this because he always wants to help, but, I think he's been so patient giving me this space to figure things out.

Brett is a very generous person.  He's always willing to give a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on.  He's a great listener and on top of being generous with his time, he's very handy.  He can do just about anything.  He just finished tiling a room in our house - all by himself.  He's fixed the steps in our backyard, built me a garden, fixed the stairs for our deck, and countless other things.  Who needs hired help when you've got this guy around? :)

 

 

My husband is really smart; the smartest person I've met.  I am always amazed at the amount of stuff he knows.  He's really good at explaining things, without beating around the bush.. and if it's too complicated, he always has another way of explaining it.  He's a history buff, and a human calculator.  He loves learning more and more and often watches shows to enrich his knowledge.  He's smart about knowing how to take care of himself by knowing how much to eat, what not to eat... not that he always succeeds... 2 whole pizzas anyone? ;)

 

He has a wonderful sense of humor.  He's been able to make me laugh almost every day.  He loves comedy, so there's usually something funny on TV when I get home from work, or he has a funny anecdote or story.  He often calls me at work when one of the cats does something funny.  For example, this week, our cat Acro, sneaked into the pantry.  Whenever we leave the door open, he'll sneak in there and make a hole in his food bag.  Well the bag is near empty and there's a hole the size of his head... so he got his head stuck in it and was running around the house trying to figure out how to get it off.  Funny story, and it made me smile.  So thankful that he thinks to call me to tell me fun stuff like that.

 

Brett's always in a good mood and it's contagious.  While, these past 5 months have been very difficult, he still manages to find a reason to smile and it's inspired me to do the same.  Inspired me to want to share my son, and try to spread more happiness around the globe to honor my son (and husband - I know he gets his smile from his dad).    He's a great source of inspiration for me.  While we certainly don't grieve the same, no one does, and I think we both take away different things from our personal journeys.  I'm thankful that he is by my side during this terrible journey.  I'm thankful that he's strong, and I'm thankful that he can show his emotions when he needs me to be strong.

 

He's a good looking guy to boot!  Wonderful blue eyes, Preston had his dad's eyes.  They turned grey just like his do.  He's strong and has great features.  I am one lucky girl :)

 

 

 

To my best friend, my husband, my second half - thank you for all that you are.  Thank you for always being there for me.  We've had a lot of lows, but I know we will survive this like we've survived all other obstacles.  Preston would be proud of how good of a person you are.  Love you forever.