This one is a tough one for me. I keep picturing what I'd like to have as memorial in our house for Preston. And I'm not looking to have an "altar" in the religious sense. I'm thinking something more along the lines as a memorial space for Preston. A special place for the important things. For the best memories.
I'm thinking of getting a corner shelving unit. Maybe even a nice display case type cabinet. I need to wait though. I'm not ready to go through all his things, find his favorites.. okay, my favorites to display. I'm not ready to open the boxes that contain his hand prints and foot prints which were taken by the coroner. Don't get me wrong, they are beautiful. I'm so thankful that she did that for us. Looking at them though, just opens up the floodgates, it tugs at my heart. It reminds me of those last moments, where he was already gone. And I just can't go there. Maybe it's unhealthy? I don't know. I may be a grieving parent, but I'm no expert on grief. All I know, is what others in my shoes have told me. Everything in it's time. When you are ready. One day at a time. One moment a time. Whatever you are feeling, it is okay. Let yourself feel what you are feeling and don't let anyone tell you how you should be feeling.
And so, in the meantime, we have the above pictured "altar" on a dresser in our bedroom. Preston's ashes. His memorial card. The footprint and hand print ornament we created on 12/23/13 for Christmas (our parents each have one too). His favorite blanket, with a lion on it, from aunt Jocelyn and uncle Burnell. One of his favorite onesies (size 3 months). His little socks. His picture we had taken right before I went back to work in February, with angel wings... maybe too ironic for my liking, but fitting considering. My favorite stuffed animal as a kid (dog - Fifine). The black bear I bought for him the week after he passed, since bears were his theme. My favorite Care Bear as a child - you guessed it, Cheer Bear. The one with the rainbow. Again, coincidence? A rainbow like Preston was. Cheer, happiness, the perfect description for my son.
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