The return of Jake

I've discussed in the past how soap operas sometimes create a story around difficult subjects.  One of those being death, but more specifically, the death of a baby or child.  I know GH did it back in the early 90s, when they told the story of B.J.'s being involved in a drunk driver accident.  Amidst the peak of their grief, her parents make the painful decision to donate their daughter's organs, one of which, her heart, is transplanted into her ailing cousin.  From what I've seen through my years of watching GH, it's one of the stories that was played out with the most heart.  I don't recall seeing it back when I was in my early teens, but I've seen several flashbacks, and just wow.

Since then, I've seen several other storylines involving the tragic death of a child.  Sam's daughter Lila being stillborn.  Elizabeth losing her 3 year old son Jake, after he was hit by a drunk driver, his own (adoptive) grandfather Luke Spencer.  Similar to B.J.'s story, his parents donated one of his kidneys to save Carly's daughter Josslyn, who was suffering from cancer.  And most recently, the death of Gabriel, Sabrina and Patrick's son who was born too early.

If you would have asked me 10 years ago, I probably would have told you that I appreciate this kind of story.  Perhaps that makes me sound morbid, but the tragedy brings out exceptional acting.  It makes the characters more human.  And at the same time, it makes the viewers feel more human.  You react to these stories and you react pretty intensely.

Almost a year and a half after losing my son, I have a different opinion.  I admire the writers for trying to tell these stories.  These stories that no one really wants to hear about.  Most fans are outraged when a baby or child is killed off in a soap opera.  But you know what?  This happens in real life! Be outraged about that!  Be so outraged that as a society, we do something about it.  More research needs to be done; on why so many stillbirths still happen, on what causes SIDS.

Use these stories to see how you can help grieving parents.  You might say, there isn't much that can be done, but support goes a long, long way.  Just being there to listen, can make a huge difference.


I finally caught up by watching all my backlogged DVRed episodes of General Hospital.  I must say, I was pretty excited to do so, as they brought back some fan favorites as they close out a story which will result in the departure of Luke Spencer, as his portrayer, Anthony Geary, retires.  One of these fan favorites, Jonathan Jackson, who played Luke Spencer's son, Lucky, for several years.  He's now a regular on Nashville, and so I knew his return would be for a very limited period of time.

The scenes between fictional father and son did not disappoint.  Part of the storyline, let's just say it completely caught me off guard.

It turns out that Lucky found out that his son, Jake, was alive - held captive on Cassadine island by Helena.  With Helena, everything is possible.  With his legendary parents, Luke and Laura, at his side, they rescued Jake, who is now 8, and brought him home to an incredulous Elizabeth.  Oh how envious I was of her.  I was just as flabbergasted as she was when they first showed his face on the screen.  They have one of the twins that played him 5 years ago, playing him now.  Unmistakable that it's the same little boy.

All those emotions, and thoughts that crossed her mind - I felt them as I watched the story unfold.  Not wanting to let him out of her sight.  I feel like I'm not going to want to let my baby-to-be out of my sight, however unrealistic that sounds.   Feeling like it's not real.  I often still feel like this pregnancy isn't real.  It's hard to wrap my head around it, even 18 weeks in.

Whatever the case may be, I tip my hat to General Hospital.  Thank you for telling stories that aren't always easy to share.  Thank you for making me feel like I'm not totally empty inside.  I may have been so shell shocked, that my own son, Preston's death left me finding it hard to cry, but you help me rediscover that I'm not heartless.  One of the most difficult realizations for me was the guilt I'd feel when I wasn't able to cry over my own loss.  It felt horrible.  I felt like maybe my love for my son wasn't enough.  Living out someone else's story, makes me realize that I'm just too close to my own story, sometimes, to feel the intense emotions.  My heart tries to spare me.

Keep on doing what you are doing for as long as you can.  Maybe, one day, we'll see a SIDS story.  It would be a very difficult story to watch, but I am confident, that it might help put the word out there, that this is still a serious problem and that something needs to be done about it.

The day I wished I lived in a soap opera

General Hospital has been really good lately.  I guess, they are gearing up for "February Sweeps" which usually makes for interesting story lines.  If you aren't familiar with the "sweeps" term, it's basically a month were Nielsen logs everything targeted households are watching on TV and therefore they try to make their shows as good as possible to attract the most viewers possible.  At least, that's how it started and I think the goal was to help advertisers target their audiences better.

Anyway, the top story lines right now are:

• The jail break: Sonny, Julian, Ava and Franco just escaped jail... and were in a car accident.
• Fluke: There is an imposter Luke: Possibly the late Bill Eckert? And he's trying to kill everyone the real Luke loves.
• The bombs: There's a bomb on the Haunted Star, where all of Luke's loved ones are gathered for the unveiling of a new clinic.  There's another bomb in the basement of Luke's childhood home, the future site of the new clinic - and Dante's trapped in the basement (and somehow still alive after being hit in the HEAD with a crowbar..)
• Jake was arrested: Jake is really Jason, but had reconstructive face surgery, has amnesia and is being brainwashed by Helena who is in cahoots with Fluke,  Oh and he planted the bomb on the boat

You see the crazy stuff I watch? I suppose I find it entertaining because as ABSURD as some of this stuff is, the actors make it seem real.  After watching General Hospital for so long, I truly find that most soap stars, are much better actors than some really big movie stars.  But, that's just me.  Maybe I just haven't watched enough movies.  But soap stars, they really have a way of making you believe their characters and the emotions they are going through.  

They take you on their journey.  It gives you insight into what someone else might actually be feeling or thinking.  So much so, that often times you feel like you are on that same journey.  We didn't do anything on New Year's eve, which is pretty standard for us.  Brett fell asleep so I caught up on General Hospital.  In this episode, Ric, who was once a very evil character, returned.  Everyone believed him to be dead, as his death had been faked to expose the true head of the Jerome crime family, Fluke.  But now that Fluke's identity was revealed, Ric was able to come out of protective custody, though he was kidnapped, and was now just freed thanks to his half brother Sonny. On New Year's eve, he showed up on Liz' doorstep and I cried.  I cried like I hadn't cried in a long time.

I realized right then and there that I wished I lived in a soap opera.  Where it would be possible for Preston to show up on our doorstep, even if not for another 25 years.  I do live in the real world, I know that won't happen.  It didn't keep me from hoping it could come true, if only for a few moments.  Ric's return really hit me hard.  I cried myself to sleep that night.

Don't feel bad for me though.  These moments happen.  They can be triggered by the simplest things sometimes.  I get through them, as with everything else.  Survival is my new reality.  And with time, I'm learning that survival can bring about beautiful things, wonderful thoughts.

And really, I don't want to live in a soap opera.  Every time someone is driving on screen, there's an accident.  How can everyone be such a bad driver??

Daytime drama

No, I'm not talking about drama in the office, sheesh!  I'm talking about soap operas.  While the fan base for soap operas is obviously lower than the fan base for primetime television, I don't think there's a more loyal fan base.  At the same time though, how much viewers are missed when the tv ratings are collected?  I work during the day, I only have a few options to watch General Hospital. Use my DVR or back when I started watching it, my VCR.  Watch it "On Demand".  Or online on ABC.com.  While online views may have started being accounted for, I highly doubt that they can count the DVR views.  Who knows.  All this means is that soap operas are a dying art.  It doesn't totally make sense to me since the main reason there is a decrease in viewers is that most families have two incomes now, which means, no one is home in the afternoon to watch them.  Replacing them with other shows doesn't mean the replacements are going to do any better.  Katie Couric anyone?  The Revolution?  ABC axed All My Children and One Life to Live a few years ago and those were the replacements.  Revolution lasted 6-7 months.  Katie just had it's last episode at the end of July.  Lesson learned?  Probably not.

You'll ask me, what is so appealing about soap operas.  One of the things I enjoy the most is character development.  You see actors embody these characters for years and years.  The actors know their characters so well, that it's second nature to be those characters.  You see them evolve, unless they are so evil that they can't be redeemed and then that's usually the curtain call for them.  You see them go through hardships, where you cry with them.  You see their dreams come true (usually only to be short lived) and rejoice.  You learn to care about these characters.  You learn to care about the actors.  I can probably tell you the real name of 95% the actors on General Hospital, but I probably can't tell you half the names of the actors that play on primetime shows.  The character development really allows for incredible acting.  Hitting rock bottom and rising from it and making it believable day after day.  Most primetime shows air for a few years and while the acting isn't bad, it's just not of the same caliber.

But, is all that drama, are all those emotions worth it?  I think so.  It allows you to be in tune with your emotions.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our lives that we forget to feel.  We don't have outlets to let those emotions out, or we don't allow ourselves the time to let our feelings show because we're so busy all the time.  There's often at least one storyline that you can relate to your life in some way.  And, no, obviously not the crazy one about freezing the world, or bringing people back from the dead.

There is a lot of silliness like the two examples I just stated.  There's unnecessary staring, constant repeating, talking to oneself so that someone accidently overhears you.  I think that part of the show helps balance the reality of some of the storylines with fantasy.  Too much realism all the time would probably be too much for our mind and hearts to take.  At least, that's my opinion.  It also gives flexibility to the writers to bring back beloved fan favorite characters/actors. ;)

I think daytime television has also paved the way to make certain controversial subjects less taboo.  It brings more understanding and acceptance.  AIDS was taboo for a long time.  It was one of the big storylines on General Hospital in the 90s.  Then it was a big storyline on primetime (ER).  Homosexuality was featured on One Life to Live in the 90s as well.  I think the world is much more understanding of both these topics.  I'm not saying that soap operas deserve all the credit, but I think that they certainly helped in getting the world to see things differently.

Another big part of daytime television - life and death.  Killing off an important character will create a lot of drama, ripple effects and allow the show of various emotions, and often a murder mystery.  But death doesn't always revolve around important characters.  And sometimes, it involves babies or children.  Of course, that is certainly not a happy storyline, but much like other dramatic stories, it is interesting to see the different perspectives lived through by different characters.  I've seen a couple characters suffer miscarriages.  I've seen one character suffer a stillbirth.  I saw another character lose her 3 year old son to a drunk driver.  Before I started watching, there was BJ's story, where the 8(?) year old daughter of Bobbie and Tony, was hit by a car and gave her heart to save her cousin Maxie who was dying from a heart defect.  Maxie still is part of the show and they refer to that story often.  Most recently, there was the storyline of Gabriel.  He was born very early and went in the NICU.  But he was born too early and did not survive.  This story was very difficult to watch, but I think it was played out beautifully.  The pain the actors portrayed was gut-wrenching.  The mental break the mother had was totally understandable and believable.  The blame the father felt was real.  I've been there.  While it's not a story anyone really wants to see, I think sharing one perspective that is very real, is a good step in telling the world, that hey, this really happens.  Be there for your loved ones if it does.  Offer your arms, your shoulder and your ears to them.

Why General Hospital and not another?  I started watching when I was about 11.  My neighbor's babysitter would watch the show and after watching it a couple times with her, I was hooked.  While I watched on and off for several years, I haven't missed many episodes in the last 10 years or so.  Waste of time? Perhaps, but I've seen many perspectives on many different life situations.  While some of them are far fetched and will never happen, others very well could.  Having seen possible reactions and outcomes, I feel better prepared to face whatever else life wants to throw at me.

Losing my son has been the most painful experience in my life.  The drama, and comedy offered by General Hospital, has given me an outlet.  It's given me something to look forward to - like Monday's episode? Spoiler alert - is Mac okay after being shot by Levi?  What will happen to Maxie and Lulu who are hostages of Levi and his partner? Will Dante and Nathan/James aka Detective Sexypants save them?  Is Jason really alive?  Are Sam & Patrick going to get together?  Will Sonny succeed in seducing his ex-wife Carly?

And at the same time, it keeps me connected to Preston.  Yes, he had to "watch" with me.  Hey, it helped keep me awake during his late night feedings ;)