The topic for day 10 of #CaptureYourGrief, to me, kind of overlaps with the subject of resources as the resources offer support. Support by being able to discuss our losses, openly share our feelings, and experiences, all the while contributing to others who walk in our shoes in the hopes of maybe helping them through their journey. It also allows us to share whatever we want about our sons and daughters. So, whether that support is received verbally, in written fashion or simply in gestures, like a kind squeeze from a friend, or a hug from a loved one, all the support that we receive, that I receive, is appreciated beyond words.
I've been blessed with a great support system. I've felt very supported wherever I go. At home, at work, through Facebook, Babycenter and my blog. Through the Angel Eyes support group. With family and friends. I have found support in surprising places. Friends that I'd lost touch with. True friendships are so special. Friendships that have lasted the obstacles of age, distance and time. Ones where you might not really speak to each other for years, but one day, pick right back up like if you'd been talking every day. I'm so grateful for the friends and family that have been there for me, time and time again. That continue to be. That follow my journey closely and share experiences that they are able to relate to mine, even if they aren't exactly the same. No one person is exactly the same, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with being able to relate with one tragedy, even if it's not the exact same thing. To know that I've somehow touched you in some way, helped you in some way, I can't even begin to tell you how much that means to me. It helps me grow and maybe, it helps you grow too.
It's interesting that this subject came up when it did - day 10. On October 6th, we had our monthly group meeting and the subject was just this - support systems. I'm relatively new to this journey, 7 months in. In our group, there were several couples who are a couple years out, several years out, and they shared how over the years, the support system changes. The first weeks, months - some people are really there for you, and then they take a step back. Then others are there for you, and again they take a step back and at the same time, perhaps others show up again. Basically, my understanding was that overtime, they felt that support systems are ever changing. I can't really say that I've experienced that myself. And if it does happen, well I understand. Loss is a difficult subject to discuss, think about. Add losing a child to the mix, and that difficulty level rises. No one wants to image it. No one wants to live it. But as with every thing, someone has to. I'm one of those someones. Right now, I feel like I'm in a good place. I'm supported well by friends, family and strangers who are going through a loss. I don't want to burden people who don't feel they can support me, and I don't feel like I need to. So if you aren't in a place where you're comfortable talking to me about Preston, talking to me about my loss, my journey, how I'm feeling - that's okay. I understand. I don't hold it against you. Just know, that if you ever are ready to talk to me about it, you aren't opening up a giant wound. You aren't causing me pain by bringing it up. I think about Preston every single day. I smile every day, remembering his smile. While my wound is healing, it will never completely heal - and I'm 100% okay with that.
P.S. I struggled finding the right image to depict "support". I already had used holding hands for day 8. I chose last night's sunset, because it was serene. The support system I have, brings me the same - serenity.
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