A decade. Funny that when we turn 10 and even 20, we’re quite excited for the milestone and it seems like it took forever to get there. A decade now? Makes me feel old. It feels like it flew by. Yet, there are days when my heart feels like everything just happened yesterday. 10 years ago, this is not how I anticipated preparing for Preston’s 10th birthday and at the risk of letting myself be totally vulnerable – it’s been a difficult couple of months of anticipation. I feel like I could breakdown at any moment, with no particular trigger.
At the height of my grief, when I lost my son, I needed his life to have had meaning. I needed to feel that as his mom, I was doing something. Coping with losing my son to SIDS, I blogged almost daily. Yes as an outlet, but mostly in an effort to provide solace to other bereaved parents. I started the blog after conceptualizing turning my son’s birthday into a day where happiness could be spread around the world. I hoped my blog could have the same effect on any other day as readers connected with my pain, confusion, anxiety, guilt, etc.
It seemed like an unattainable goal for Preston to have an impact on the world, but I’ve always felt that if Preston and my experience could help just one person, I’d be fulfilled…and I can say that today, I do feel like I achieved my goal. However, don’t let that fool you into thinking you won’t hear from me again next year! Though my blog never went viral, it’s had over 70k views, with 8k in the past year despite the fact that I don’t blog anymore. Views: 70% USA, 10% Singapore, 8% Canada, 12% - over 15 other countries. I’d say mission accomplished; Preston has left an imprint on the world.
SpreadHappinessForPreston turns 10 this year, on Sunday 11/19/2023. This date marks Preston’s 10th birthday. I’ve been overwhelmed through the years by reading how others have shared happiness through touching gestures, in creative ways and with just the simplest of things. Knowing happiness is shared with my son in mind has a soothing effect on my heart and reminds me that I can still be his mother, even when he’s in heaven. I pray that it has been just as meaningful to anyone else who has participated over the past years and continues to be for those who have been along for the ride since the beginning.
I’ve learned in these past several years that though my initial goal was to provide support for bereaved parents, my experience applies to anyone who has experienced loss. Grief is a journey we all eventually must learn to stumble through and I hope that even if in the smallest of ways, my story can help you feel that you are not, and never will be alone.
SpreadHappinessForPreston is a day to make the world a little happier, certainly brighter. I hope you will consider participating in spreading happiness on Preston’s birthday. If not in memory of Preston, simply because spreading happiness has a way of ricocheting by putting a smile on your own face. Remember that paying it forward doesn’t need to cost a thing – just make it your mission to make someone smile on November 19th.
Wishing you a wonderful day, weekend and Thanksgiving. Sincerely,
~Cat
PS. I’d love to hear how you have shared happiness. You can use #SpreadHappinessForPreston on social media, comment on my blog - http://spreadhappinessforpreston.blogspot.com/, you can tag me @tsunaze1 or email me – tsunaze1@gmail.com. I’m a total nerd and Tsunaze was my World of Warcraft character name… if you were curious 😎
PSS. If you aren’t totally sick of me yet, I happened upon a post I wrote on 10/28/2015 that I just wanted to share an excerpt given everything else I wrote about above – if you’re struggling with grief right now, perhaps it can be a little glimmer of hope ♥
