Remicade, doctors, nurses and modern medicine

How appropriate is it that on day 13 of my 30 days of gratitude challenge that I be grateful for Remicade, as I am currently receiving my treatment?  In that same vein (ha-ha), I am grateful for my doctors, nurses and modern medicine itself.

If you are unfamiliar with Remicade, it's a biologic that acts like artificial antibodies and it is administered intravenously to treat Crohn's disease (like in my case), rheumatoid arthritis, ulcerative colitis and a couple other autoimmune disorders. The frequency of treatments can range from every 6 to 10 weeks, I believe.  Mine are every 7 weeks.

In 2012, I was oblivious to how much Crohn's had destroyed my body.  Here I was humming along, thinking everything was under control when in reality, I'd just been living with it for so long that it was my new normal.  Abdominal pain every month was normal.  Even when it happened every week it was normal.  Lack of energy, sleeping for extended hours was routine.  When I experienced my first blockage in May, I'd only experienced more pain once - when my gallbladder had gone septic in 2009.

And so, my GI doc got me started on Remicade in May 2012.  I'd heard of it, but I was trying to live sans medication, especially since we were trying to start a family.  After weighing the pros and cons, we decided that this was the best course of action for treating my case of Crohn's disease.  Unfortunately, the scar tissue had built up like crazy in my bowels after decades of inflammation and healing, and inflammation and healing, therefore narrowing the size of my bowels...  Because of that, even though I was on Remicade, I ended up with another blockage in September and made the decision that I should have surgery to regain quality of life.

I'd wanted to put off surgery for as long as possible.  When I was first diagnosed in '99, my doctor at the time had told me that once you have a surgery, it snowballs, and you just end up needing more and more, with less and less intervals between them.  After discussing this at length with my GI doc, my husband and a surgeon, we came to the conclusion that a) I needed some kind of quality of life, b) Remicade is a "maintenance" drug that should keep the symptoms, inflammation, flare-ups at bay and c) in order to have a healthy baby, we need a healthy mom = me.  To my amazement, this was a surgery that could be done laparoscopically, and my surgeon had been dubbed a miracle worker by my own GI doc (who's pretty incredible himself!)

I've been so blessed with wonderful doctors in the past years.  In addition, I've been blessed with extraordinary nurses.  I've come to learn that they are so under appreciated.  So if you are a nurse, know that the world needs more people like you - you have great bedside manners, you have empathy, you have patience.  You know your stuff, and your presence eases our mind when you are present.  My hospital stays have not been a fun time.  They've been filled with pain.  Filled with hunger.  Filled with feelings of entrapment to a certain degree.  When you are stuck in a room and you aren't on narcotics, but you can't do anything.. you start to go a little stir crazy.  My most recent stay was supposed to be a happy one - and while it had happy moments, it was really scary.  My son, Preston, was so tiny.  He had no meat on his bones when he was born.  He wouldn't eat when we tried to feed him.  Having him go to the NICU, at the time, was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.  But, he thrived in there, making headway every day.  Getting stronger every day.  And I can't thank the nurses enough for giving him that chance. 

If it weren't for modern medicine, for the incredible doctors and nurses I've crossed paths with, I don't know if I'd still be here.  Perhaps I'd have no quality of life.  I probably never would have been able to have Preston.  I could be dead myself.  Preeclampsia, and high blood pressure have taken many lives I'm sure.  And while, losing your baby, can feel like total hell, I'm still thankful that I'm still here.  I'm thankful that I've had the strength (and help) to survive.  I'm thankful because it allowed me to have the most wonderful little boy in the world.  I'm thankful, because my husband needs me.  I'm thankful, because, life isn't always roses and butterflies, but every now and then, there are rainbows and bunnies...which makes life worth it.  Cherish every fleeting moments of happiness, even if they are few.  They can make a world of difference.