Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Society has such high standards when it comes to beauty.  You have to be tall.  You have to be thin.  You have to be tanned.  You have to have perfect hair and skin.  And even then, Photoshop is used to make models somehow more beautiful.

I'm not trying to take anything away from these beautiful beings.  Most models work really hard to get where they are.  Some probably have really sad stories and battle issues they might not have to deal with if society wasn't so cruel.  But doesn't everyone have a different definition of what is beautiful?  Aren't we all unique because we have our own tastes, likes and dislikes?  So why are we so easily susceptible to accepting what society calls beautiful?  Why do we let ourselves be influenced by it, and tear ourselves apart to reach that standard?

I struggled with feeling beautiful as a teen.  I had some acne, braces and didn't have a "perfect" weight.  As I got older, and wiser, I was more often able to feel comfortable in my own skin and even sometimes consider myself as pretty.  Battling Crohn's disease though has not always been kind to helping my self-esteem.  Being on Prednisone, or the devil pill as I like to call it, certainly caused me to swell.  I dealt with bloating more often than I'd like to admit.  Those things often made it tough for me to feel pretty.  I felt chubby and overweight.

My attitude took a total shift after my first bowel obstruction, and even more so after my second obstruction and subsequent surgery.  Life will throw obstacles at you throughout your life, and you just have to roll with it.  You have to continually learn to adapt and grow.  Will I have to take the devil pill again one day?  The odds are high.  Will I let it get the best of me? No.  Okay, well easier said than done since Prednisone definitely affects your state of mind too.  But, if I have it my way, I will deal with it when it comes.  I won't let it get to me.  I won't feel "great" in my own skin, but I really won't care what anyone thinks.  This is my battle, this is what I have to do to get better, so that's what I will do.  Will people make fun of me because I have a moonface?  Probably, but I won't let it get me down.  There will always be cruel people somewhere.  Hopefully those people are ones I don't know personally, hopefully they are immature younger kids that don't really know what life is all about yet.

Keep in mind that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.  Beauty doesn't have to be the perfection that society has pushed onto us.  Beauty can be imperfection.  Beauty can be found in intangibles.  Beauty can be invisible.  I find beauty in the soft sound of the rain, and in the chirps of the birds in the early morning.  I find beauty in the kind gestures one person can display to another.  I find beauty in my husband's incontrollable laughs.  I find beauty in his eyes.  I find beauty in the subtle signs Preston sends me.  I find beauty in the strength I have - the strength to overcome 2012, and the strength to continue to live and smile after losing my precious boy.  I find beauty in a fresh blanket of snow.  I find beauty in the sky - stars, clouds, light.  Where do you find beauty?