Slept in since we were out late last night. We had a fun night at our friends' house playing in a Ping-Pong tournament (I was watching in the sidelines) and a friendly poker game. The whole night was really relaxing. I got to talk to my friend Crystal about Preston quite a bit, and about how I'm doing. It's nice to feel that I can also vocalize my feelings more easily now. I think I'd struggle if I had to do it every day, or constantly, but it was certainly helpful. We also talked about her son Cameron, who requires a lot of special care. It was comforting to know that keeping busy helps her through her struggles as well. I'm certainly not alone having to deal with issues, and this mama has got the strength and courage of a lion. Crystal, you are truly inspiring to me, and you give me a lot of strength. I hope I am able to do the same for you. :)
I did the groceries, probably in record time since I found out about 5 minutes before leaving that my in-laws wanted me to see the house they just made an offer on (5-10 minutes away from our place). They won't be moving in until they sell their place in the mountains which won't go on the market until sometime next year, but they will be close to help out with another little one, should we be blessed one day. It is a really nice house with a lot of potential once renovated the way they would like. Hubby will help rent out the place for them in the meantime.
I was busy with paperwork all afternoon, which was really fulfilling. Definitely kept my mind occupied. After dinner, I took a walk with my father in law, for a good hour. It was nice to get to know him even better. :) It was a cool evening for July, and we got sprinkled on due to a quick rain shower which kept us cool during our brisk stroll. We even got a nice hello from Preston:
It would be easy to just say, it's "just" a rainbow. I've been living in Colorado for 6 years now, and I really don't remember getting any rain in July, and certainly not this late in July. Perhaps my memory is faulty, but I really don't remember seeing any rainbows in July (except this year). It was really, really nice to see this sweet hello, today of all days. I wouldn't have seen it if I didn't go for that walk, and I certainly hadn't planned this walk. It was really a spur of the moment thing. It really did make me smile and believe that my little angel is all around me.
As another "month" begins, I hope that I continue to find solace in signs from my little one, comfort by sharing my son with the world, and continue to heal in my own unique way. Thank you for letting me share my treasured baby with you all.
What a beautiful rainbow! I know it is hard to understand now, but the days will get easier to get through. We are six months our from our loss and some days are worse than others, but more and more I begin to appreciate my time with them instead of grieve over them. He is your son, and YOU got to have him - no one else. That means something. No one could love him like you could. And you haven't really lost him, as evident by the signs that he gives you. The loss will always be hard but I pray that you will, as you said, find more solace soon.
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