4th of July



The 4th of July celebrations are just about over.  They are over for us today.  The day wasn't bad overall.  We slept in, which we don't get to do very often.  We ran a few errands and did a few chores.  We had a nice dinner with our friends and even went for a little walk with them and their son.  As we got outside to go walking, there was a nice little rainbow staring right at us.  I went to get my camera to memorialize the memory in my blog and share the little hello from my angel.  I've been in Colorado for 7 years now, and I don't remember it usually raining this late in the season.  July and August are usually so hot and dry.  It was really hot and muggy this morning when we went to run our errands but the quick summer shower sure cooled it down and brought us a wonderful rainbow.  It's nice to know that rainbows and bunnies now remind my friends and family of Preston.  Hubby told me later that while I was getting my camera, our friends said "Preston" pointing at the rainbow.  That brings a nice smile to my face.  It seems that my little boy impacted a lot of lives, even lives of people that never met him.

 

The day wasn't as difficult as I was anticipating, but it did have it's tough moments.  Thinking about what it could have been was tough.  Hearing all the kids laughing and having fun as fireworks were going off in our neighborhood was tougher.  While Preston probably wouldn't have enjoyed all the festivities and fireworks this year, or next year, I know he would have eventually loved it and again, being reminded that he never will, is just like a little dagger stabbing at my heart.  All the hopes and dreams we had for him are forever broken never to be fulfilled.

 

But, life continues on, as the clock ticks and tocks.  We somehow make it through every day, some days will be tougher than others.  Much like some days are tougher for others for different reasons.  We all have our struggles and we cannot compare them one against the other.  Our lives are so unique that even if a struggle is exactly the same, past struggles or lack of past struggles, can make the experience so much different. 

 

"Struggle" doesn't even begin to explain what losing a child is like, but it's the best word I can find to relate it to other tough situations. But, whatever your struggle, whether you are learning how to live without your baby, battling an illness, have lost your job, etc., know that perseverance is key.  Know that attitude has a lot to do with how you will overcome your struggle.  Negativity will make your situation tougher.  Positivity, will keep you going.

 

Pop, pop, screech, screech, boom, boom, boom go the fireworks.  You might want to scream like a firework some days.  Go for it.  Whatever makes you feel better, whatever helps you, do it.  Grief is sometimes a lifelong battle.  But, you don't have to let it rule your life.  Have you invited positivity into your life? Do you steer clear of negativity? Feel free to share how :)

 

Hope you had a good 4th of July.