My friend Rachel Lewis, who I've mentioned a few times in my blog, is organizing and leading a blog workshop (really fun idea Rachel!!). It's designed to help you find your purpose, develop your purpose or to help you achieve it. This is exactly what I feel like I needed. So thank you Rachel! For more details, and if you are interested in participating, please visit Rachel's blog "the lewis note". And even more details: Pursuit of Purpose Workshop: Session 1
Session 1: "Pick 3 events of brokenness in your life that have shaped you or molded you in some fashion."
It would be comforting if finding 3 events of brokenness in my life was a difficult task. Alas, I have so many that I don't really know which ones to choose. When it boils down to it though:
Losing Preston is definitely the one that comes to mind first. I wouldn't be writing my blog if I had not lost him. I don't believe I'd be finding a purpose, trying to find a purpose or trying to achieve a purpose other than being a good mom, if I had not lost him.
My miscarriage, also comes to mind. And while I have accepted this loss, it still created a shift in how I see things. How I feel about things. How I live.
My health.... my darned health issues. Take your pick: Crohn's disease, surgeries, hospitalizations, pre-eclampsia, HELLP syndrome. They've all taken their toll on me at some point. They've all shaped me. My health has taught me so much.
Depression. While I never had it diagnosed, I strongly believe that I suffered from depression when I first moved to the States. Everything was new. I couldn't work and felt like I had no purpose. Really, when it comes down to it, that's how I felt. I had the "I'll do it tomorrow" philosophy because there was always a tomorrow. That too carved me into a different person, and I rather hope that it continues to.
So I guess there you have it:
- Losing Preston
- Miscarriage (and suspected miscarriages)
- Health issues
- Depression
And I am listing 1 and 2 separately because I dealt with them in such different ways. I feel differently about them. Perhaps that's wrong, but I feel how I feel.
Hi Ryanne! Thanks for looking me up! I saw you linked your blog on Rachel's blog. I'll be sure to check it out. /Hugs right back to you!
ReplyDeleteI love that you two are connecting! Yay for community!
ReplyDeleteCat, I totally understand that you would feel differently about your miscarriage and your son's death by SIDS. I feel differently about each of my losses -- my ectopic was hardest (if you can qualify that) for various reasons. And I've responded or reacted to each miscarriage differently.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I didn't realize that you too had HELLP/pre-e. That was on my list too. For me, very life changing. I ended up with PTSD following that experience. I also struggle with depression and anxiety. Seems we have much much much in common.
So glad that you are participating -- and I just hope that both of us can get to this place of Purpose together. :)
Rachel - Thank you for posting and replying about feeling differently about your losses. It makes me feel like what I'm feeling isn't as horrible as I've felt it to be sometimes. :)
DeleteGlad we are getting to know each other better. We have a lot in common, don't we? :)
:D
ReplyDelete