Positively February: Day 9

"You are not alone"

I saw this quote this morning on Facebook, on the First Candle SIDS/SUID Support Group Page.  It's one I've often seen posted by Allison Glover who is a grief counselor at First Candle and manages the Facebook page.  She like me, is a SIDS mom who lost her firstborn son.  She's shared the quote "You are not alone" on several occasions.  I felt it was appropriate for today.

Through grief, we navigate every day and often feel solitude.  We feel excluded.  We feel alone.  Even when surrounded by friends and family, we continually extremely lonely.  Forsaken even.  Our thoughts often propel us further down a path of seclusion.

What we all need to be reminded of though, and often, that we are not alone.  1 in 4 pregnancies result in a loss.  You are not alone.  That means, there's most likely a handful of women you know that have suffered a loss.  Additionally, support groups for all types of losses exist, and I bet you anything, even if your loss doesn't fall exactly into the categories of a certain group, you wouldn't be turned away.  

I attend monthly group meetings for SIDS parents, and while the majority of parents who attend are SIDS parents, I've met several that did not lose their child to SIDS.  They are never shunned, and are more than encouraged to attend.  You are not alone.

Truth is, no one's story is exactly the same, there are people out there who will understand.  There are people who will know the feelings you are experiencing, even if they aren't in the same exact place you are.  Even if they felt anger before guilt, and you felt guilt, then anger.  

You are not alone.

There is a loss community out there for you.  Whether it's on BBC or through a charitable organization like First Candle, or Angel Eyes.  Whether it's through a counselor or something suggested by your church, or doctor.  Whether, it's simply through reading the chronicles of bereaved parents like me through blogs.

To add another quote - "Family isn't always blood.  They're the people in your life who want you in theirs - the ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what".  I'm blessed to have a wonderful family but I'm also extremely fortunate to have my grief family, who make me feel less alone, day in and day out.  I pray every day that I am able to return the love and support you always have shown me.


On a total side note - I wanted to share two pictures of Preston.  They are among my favorites, and you most likely have seen them already.  I like how he goes from totally focused, to all smiles in an instant.  Gotta love that his little leg is out of focus, reminds me how much he loved to kick around all the time.  Miss you baby boy.

I wanted to share those today because I took them one year ago today, on February 9th, 2014.