Positively February: Day 18

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."  - Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou.  For the past couple years, I've seen some of her quotes being shared on Facebook.  Lovely quotes too.  Meaningful.  Things that make you smile.  Think.  What a beautiful soul this woman seems to have had.  It inspired me to use one of her quotes today.  There were so many to choose from:

"Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud"

"If you only have one smile in you give it to the people you love"

"It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive.  Forgive everybody."

However, the one I chose is the one that spoke to me the most.  I think she was right in what she said.  You don't forget how people make you feel.  Good or bad.  I remember the people who hurt me most.  I remember the people who made me happiest.  When it comes to memory, mine is not great for details.  I often have a hard time recalling what I ate for dinner the previous night.  However, I easily am able to recollect how it made me feel to have teenagers write ridiculous things on my locker in high school.  It felt awful.  The cruel nicknames, and for what reason? I was a quiet girl who minded her own business.  At the same time, I remember extraordinary details about some of the times someone made me incredibly happy.  I remember my wedding day almost better than any other day in my life.  I remember one night, rocking Preston for hours.  Listening to my iPod and signing him all the songs I knew the lyrics to.  I remember how tiny he was.

I remember it like it was yesterday.  And that right there, also makes me feel the deep pain of his absence.  It wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't love him so dearly.  I suppose that is the price of love - profound and endless grief.

I hope this doesn't make it sound like I'm always sad.  I am not.  Remembering Preston most often brings a smile to my face.  He was and is and always will be a symbol of happiness for me.  But yes, I do feel the sadness too.  Sometimes the sorrow feels bottomless.  At times it is more subtle, like the shadow that follows me everywhere without my noticing it.

The important thing is, our memories are completely linked to our emotions.  Conversations and actions will fade.  Feelings do not.  Tread lightly when you think about saying something that might be hurtful.  "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".  Pranks can be funny, but taking them too far can break someone.

Taking it to the opposite spectrum, reaching out your hand to help out someone in need could change their day, their life.  Just imagine how that would feel!  Offering comforting words during a difficult time... from experience, I can tell you it can change everything.  I remember and will always remember the people who have supported me, and who keep on supporting me.  They have a treasured place in my heart.  They have been my saving grace. <3