Positively February: Day 20

"I realize now more than ever that the most valuable commodity in life is the feeling you get when you give.  Compassion is the currency that leads to true wealth."  - Jim Carrey

I wanted a funny quote so I thought, Jim Carrey!  There's not many people who are funnier in the world.  Well, I didn't find what I was looking for.  No funny quote.  Just this beautiful one.

To give.  I've always been more a giver than a receiver.  I'm not big on materials.  When it comes to the frivolous, I like my TV shows and my computer and I don't need much else.  I enjoy the occasional clothes shopping binge, I won't lie.  Really though, I've always enjoyed seeing the smile on someone else's face when they receive something - be it big or small.

I've learned in this past year though, that to give doesn't necessarily mean to buy something for someone, or to shower someone with gifts.  You can give your attention and your time.  You can offer words of comfort, or just an ear to listen.  You can give a hug, which can be so needed sometimes.  Really hugs have turned my day around.

I've received so much love and support.  I still receive it.  I try, when possible, to give back whenever possible.  I try to share my experiences for that very reason.  Putting my feelings, my recollections, my personal thoughts out there for anyone to read.. it might just help someone!  The comfort, the encouragements and the support I've received, I feel has turned me into such an Empath.  I have so much compassion for what others are feeling.  I'm still learning how to express it, but I feel the pain of others so easily now.  I understand, even though I'm not there, even though it's not my battle, even though it's not my pain.

It's changed me.  Preston's changed me.  Losing him has changed me.  For the worse?  Probably in some ways.  I'm more scared of certain things, yet I'm fearless in other ways.  I'm more sensitive, yet have a tougher shell.  I'm indifferent to the pettiness that exists around me, yet I'm more compassionate than ever when it comes to what my friends are feeling, what my family is going through, what people I've met along this journey live with every day.

And I do feel richer for it.

And when all else fails, and I do need a laugh after all - "Everytime I'm sad, I imagine a T-Rex trying to put a hat on"