Ornaments

Tonight, instead of a regular group meeting, it was a crafting get-together.  Family and friends were welcome.  I made an ornament (pictured below) and brought home the crafting materials to make a special candle.  I had a nice time, though my mind wasn't totally there.  I apologize to my Angel Eyes family.  You see, the last time I was at the Angel Eyes office, was just a few days after we lost Preston.  Being there again, although everything was different, was difficult on my psyche.

I made the ornament and shared some laughs.  I did mine all wrong, I'm so not the arts and crafty type, but I tried, and I'm not too bummed by the result.  Last year, Brett and I made a hand and foot print of Preston's for ourselves, and our parents.  He was still so small that most his foot and hand fit in the small mold that was designed for one foot or one hand.  I don't think I will ever have an ornament that means more to me.  Not that I use it as an ornament.  It's been sitting on our dresser since we made it.  Close to us.  Always in sight.

Driving home from my ornament making, I so many Christmas lights adorned my sight.  On commercial buildings.  On trees.  On fences.  On houses.  I really do love Christmas, but since the seasonal music has started gracing some radio stations, I've been avoiding them.  I haven't decorated the house.  I don't know that I want to.  That's a very bizarre feeling because I really do love this time of year.  I have a Christmas station on my Pandora.  I've been building a Christmas village since moving into our house in 2010 - a dream I'd had since seeing one at one of my mom's uncles house when I was very little.  I hoped to share this with Preston.  I did for a very short few weeks.

This season, this holiday, I need to find a new way to embrace it.  Maybe this ornament was one step into the right direction.  Maybe, the candle will be the next step.  One day at a time, I will strive to find a way to let the spirit of Christmas find a way into my heart.  And if it fails, there's always next year.  One moment at a time...