The first weeks, maybe even the first month after losing Preston is still kind of a fog. I don't think about that time very often, but I know that I had to take small steps into returning to a new routine. Going to the grocery store was a challenge. I know it sounds really silly. I used to do groceries Saturday morning and then I'd spend all day with Preston. It was a wonderful time, especially after returning from work since I now had less time with my little boy. The first 4-5, maybe even 6 times I had to go to the grocery store... I bought the bear minimum and rushed back home. There were what felt like cruel reminders that my son was gone - all the Easter decorations and goodies; the baby isle; the lonely car ride back home. But, time does help things and I am able to do the groceries again without it being too painful. There are times I completely avoid the baby aisle like the plague. Other times, I kind of find myself looking at things I would have bought and it does make me smile.
What I mean by all this is, a new beginning doesn't have to be something big. It can be something small. It can be as simple as just getting yourself out of bed if you are struggling with a loss. It can be something as simple as taking a small walk around the block. It can be as simple as cutting out an item of food out of your diet. How often do you tell yourself "tomorrow"? And how often does "tomorrow" turn into weeks, months, years? I myself have been guilty of that sooo often. So this thread that was created on BabyCenter have really helped me feel accountable. I want to feel accountable because I need to be able to have new beginnings and I also want to help others feel like they aren't alone. Hopefully, fulfilling a new beginning will help motivate someone else. Sound silly? I hope not.
My new beginnings: taking daily walks with my hubby, planting a garden (and hopefully it will grow!), cutting out carbonated drinks from my diet (allowing myself to have them Fridays - if I want, or when I'm out with friends).
How successful have I been? We've taken evening walks most days, with the exception of rainy days and last week when my hubby work functions that went into the evening. I did however go for a 2 mile walk with my friend Patty last Sunday and when we went to the ball game on Wednesday, we walked 1.25 miles to and from the ball park to where my car was parked for the day. My hubby built me a nice garden and I planted the seeds last weekend. We'll see if they start sprouting this week. I'm kind of excited. I've only had 2 carbonated drinks in the past 2 weeks. Pretty good :) And lastly, I've created this blog. I hope that it's helpful to others.
Regardless of how big or small new beginnings are, accomplishing goals we set for ourselves are good for the soul. They make you proud of yourself, they help you do things that are probably good for you, they help keep you balanced and sane in hard times, they give you reasons to be, they make you smile.
So why not set yourself a little goal, a new beginning? I'm sure there are things you've been meaning to do. Perhaps you aren't having breakfast every day? Perhaps you want to lose 5 pounds? Perhaps you've been meaning to try yoga? Whatever it is, go for it! Remember, "tomorrow" can easily become "years later". Don't let time pass you by. Smile, do something for you! What will be your new beginning?
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