Just another day

Today was just an ordinary day.  Nothing spectacular happened, no signs.  It wasn't a particularly easy day.  Painful conversations, yet conversations that needed to happen.  Preston would have turned 7 months today.  While I didn't feel sad thinking about what today represented, the loss did sink in a little more.  Those vivid images from the day we lost him on made an appearances in my mind again.  Each time it happens, I have to force myself to think about something else because that memory is just too much to take.  For now anyways, that's what I have to do for me.

Hubby and I took a nice walk again today.  The garden continues to sprout - tomatoes, parsley, cucumber and catnip sprouts are starting to peak through.  I'm curious to see what the cats think about fresh catnip!

The sunsets have been really pretty lately - or perhaps I just notice them more because I'm home before dark and I'm not so preoccupied with a newborn.  The skies are really interesting here.  The clouds feel so close... like you could jump right onto one.

I don't have much to say today other than - some days are more difficult than others.  When they are, I try to find something that will bring me peace, comfort or make me smile.

So today, my sprouting garden made me smile... a sign of life, a sign of hope.  I watched a video of my son a few moments ago and that too made me smile.  We were playing "this little piggy" which he seemed to enjoy for a few weeks...though he'd get kind of upset when "this little piggy got none".  I told you he was smart right?

And lastly, I looked at some pictures.  Some of him, some from long ago - like the picture below.  That was the view from my apartment before I moved to the States.  Gosh it was peaceful and stunning.  I really miss the water.  But the mountains, the calm air and the closeness of the clouds often seem to make up for it.  We live in beautiful places without even realizing it sometimes.  Too caught up in our every day routines and rushing through life before realizing it has past us by.  Where do the days go? Where does time go?  How does time feel in heaven?  I heard someone say that time in heaven goes so slowly, that our loved ones don't have time to miss us because we'll join them in what feels like the next moment to them.  Perhaps it's true, and perhaps I can find a little comfort in that.

Thinking of you Preston, on what would have been your 7 month "birthday".  I know I shouldn't make milestones out of everything, but I'm ever so aware of the days.  Mama loves you forever.