Happy Thoughts/Moments

I was warned after yesterday's meeting that this week and the next might be difficult because thinking about the day we lost our babies just brings all those memories rushing back.  Quite honestly, I kind of feel like the year is just going to get more difficult as we get deeper and deeper into it.  November is when all our birthdays are, Brett, Preston and I.  Thanksgiving will be just after.  Thanksgiving is when we took our baby home from the NICU last year.  Thanksgiving is a family holiday, which I was looking forward to with Preston.  And then Christmas will be around the corner.  And then it'll be the beginning of next year, and then March...

But I don't want to drown into depression.  I don't want to lose myself in my pain.  I want to remember my son, and I don't want to cry every time I do so.  I think I've done a pretty good job at that so far... not that I'm quite sure how.  I want to be happy, and not feel guilty for feeling to happy.  So I think, perhaps the way to do so, is to start with happy thoughts. Hopefully that will evolve into some happy moments, and perhaps that will then morph into happy days, one day.

Hopefully this isn't too redundant for a post.  I've talked about finding happiness in the small things in one of my first posts.  I don't want to repeat those things, so I hope not to, forgive me if I do.  I found happiness today when my husband sent me flowers at work again.  Isn't he great?  They are as vibrant as they are beautiful.  Yellow roses, red tulips and purple iris'.  Ah Iris... there's another thing that makes me happy.  Remember that song I talked about the other day?  While, it can have such sad interpretations, it also reminds me of my unique bond with Preston, and not much can bring me more happiness.

I'm watching America's Got Talent again, and while I don't always love the back stories they do on people, some people's journeys are really touching and gives hope for humanity.  Some performances just make me smile and fill me with happiness.  Magic acts that make you go, "waaaaa, how'd he do that??".  It takes you into a totally different world.  Perhaps we'll see one when we go to Vegas later this year.

My cat, Acro, is being lovey at the moment, hardly letting me type.  He's on my lap as is my laptop.  He keeps getting jealous and nips at my wrists or tries to grab my arm altogether.  "Pay attention to me, he says!"  While there's nothing like the love of your child, the love our pets can show us can be so special.  Our cats are indoor cats so they don't know much about the world.  They cower away so easily.. but they love us so unconditionally... when they want.  They're cats after all!  "Rub my belly, but just twice or I'll scratch the living daylights out of you".  ;)

Well, I don't want to give all my happy thoughts away in one day.  But these things made me happy today and have a potential to make me happy again - by just thinking about these things, or seeing them, or living them.  If I can think of so many happy thoughts in one day, perhaps there is hope for me after all.  What made you happy today?  Do you have favorite happy thoughts or moments?