A cool fall morning. As it should be, given that summer has officially come to an end. But all is not always as it should be. Many parents can attest to that this month, as they continue to mourn the loss of their child throughout October - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.
CarlyMarie, a bereaved mother and founder of Project Heal, has brought back the October "Capture Your Grief" project for a 4th year. I participated in this project last year and found it very healing. If you wish to read (or re-read) by blogs from last year, you may click here.
Like last year, the subject for October 1st: Sunrise.
I ride the train most mornings to go to work. This time of year, the actual sunrise occurs while I'm about halfway to work and it's quite difficult to capture a good picture since the sun rises on the other side of the highway, behind several buildings that obstruct the view. I was able to take a couple of pictures this morning, but none really capture the sun breaking the horizon.
As I prayed for all the parents who'd lost a child, whether it be during pregnancy or afterwards, what struck me most was the color of the sky. It was remarkably cloudy this morning which would have made a picture of the actual sunrise very difficult. About 15 minutes before the actual sunrise, the clouds were blue and in between all the clouds, the sky was pink. It was beautiful, and oh so appropriate given that the awareness ribbon for Pregnancy and Infant Loss is just that - pink and blue.
As the sun was rising, the clouds stayed blue and the sky that was pink, turned white. I found this fascinating. The sky is usually blue with clouds of white. It was as if the sky was using the metaphor that losing a child is the opposite of what should be. The sky was right. Losing a child is not something that should be. Our children should always outlive us.
Watching the sunrise was not something I practiced often before Preston passed away. Even when it was right there for me to savor as my day began. Sunrises now signify so much to me.
Quietness.
Tranquility.
Peace.
It is a rare morning that I don't watch the sky change colors before my eyes and don't think of Preston. Those moments make me feel close to him, especially when the sky is turning all different shades of colors. Preston was so fond of bright colors.
It's a healing experience to just sit and watch a sunrise. Even if you don't see all of it. I find that it allows my day to start with some sense of serenity. While the stillness of the morning can be extremely challenging without Preston, the atmosphere of calmness brings me a lot of peace, and helps me move forward with each new day.
Do you watch the sunrise here and then? How does it make you feel?
No comments:
Post a Comment