SpreadHappinessForPreston - Year 9

Time is a funny thing.  During difficult times, it appears to travel at a snail’s pace.  During enjoyable vacations, you blink and it’s over.  Looking back on the past 9 years, it seems like it was just yesterday that my son was born, and yet the dull ache in my heart is a constant reminder of how long it’s been. Over 9 years ago, I envisioned turning my son’s birthday into a day where happiness is shared all around the world.  Big dreams, but in my grief-stricken mind, I needed his life to have mattered.  At the time, I blogged almost every day to cope with the loss of my son to SIDS.  This outlet did wonders for my grief, and I was able to connect with other bereaved individuals.  During this time, I know that Preston’s life had meaning. That our story helped others not feel so alone.  It was amazing to see the statistics of my blog (ha, the nerd in me) and to see it’s reach to other continents. 

 

Grief has not left me, nor would I want it to.  However, instead of living in my shadow, it’s better explained as an intruder that pokes it’s head in from time to time, either totally unexpectedly or triggered by “x”, “y” or “z”.  Perhaps one of the most important things I’ve learned through the years is that grief does not have a linear path.  It’s better described as a roller-coaster ride, where in time, the twists and turns are simply less intense and less frequent. 

 

SpreadHappinessForPreston turns 9 this year, this Saturday on 11/19/2022.  This date marks my son Preston’s 9th birthday.  The idea of SpreadHappinessForPreston came to me through reading other stories, similar to mine, where one family paid it forward in memory of their daughter.  Since Preston radiated happiness, SpreadHappinessForPreston was born.  It has been rewarding to me to hear about how others have shared happiness – creative ways, touching gestures and just the simple things.  It has helped me continue to feel like a mother to my angel.  I hope that it has been just as meaningful to anyone else who has participated over the past years and continues to be for those who have been along for the ride since year 1. 🤍

 

SpreadHappinessForPreston is a day to pay it forward.  A day to make the world a little brighter and happier.  I hope you will consider participating, if not for Preston, simply because spreading a little happiness has a way of putting a smile on your own face.  Remember that paying it forward doesn’t need to cost a thing – just make it your mission to make someone smile on November 19th.

 

Wishing you a wonderful day, weekend and holiday season.

#SpreadHappinessForPreston

Spread Happiness for Preston - Year 8

It’s hard to fathom how much time has passed since I first conceptualized the idea of turning my son’s birthday into a day where happiness is shared with as many people as possible.  Where in my grief-stricken mind, I wished his little life could have an impact on the world, as I needed his time on earth to have a meaning.  And for a time, I know he did.  I know my story touched and helped others going through similar experiences.  I blogged almost every day pouring out my heart in order to cope with the loss of my son to SIDS.

 

The grief still lives in me, but less on the surface; more like an intruder that pokes it’s head in from time to time, usually unexpectedly.  I never thought I’d be one to go through panic attacks, but I’ve certainly had a couple this year totally catching me off-guard (I didn’t realize it was happening until it was over).  Grief is not a linear path, and continues to be a roller-coaster ride, the twists and turns are simply less intense, less frequent.

 

With the constant ups and downs that the pandemic has brought to all our lives, it goes without saying that we are all in need of more kindness and happiness as we all navigate this ride that is life.

 

SpreadHappinessForPreston turns 8 this year, tomorrow on 11/19/2021.  This date marks my son Preston’s 8th birthday.  The idea of SpreadHappinessForPreston came to me through reading other stories, similar to mine, where one family paid it forward in memory of their daughter.  Since Preston radiated with happiness, SpreadHappinessForPreston was born.  It has been rewarding to me to hear about how others have shared happiness – such creative ways, and touching gestures.  It has helped me continue to feel like a mother to my angel.  I hope that it has been just as meaningful to anyone else who has participated over the past years.

 

SpreadHappinessForPreston is a day to pay it forward.  A day to make the world a little brighter and happier.  I hope you will consider participating, if not for Preston, simply because spreading a little happiness has a way of putting a smile on your own face.  Remember that paying it forward doesn’t need to cost a thing – just make it your mission to make someone smile on November 19th.

 

Wishing you a wonderful day, and holiday season as it is upon our door already.

~Cat

 

#SpreadHappinessForPreston 

SpreadHappinessForPreston – Year 7

2020 has brought hardships and devastation to people around the world.  2020 is a year, we’d all like to, quite frankly erase from the calendar.  With the wild ride this year has been, and with no real relief in sight, we are all in need of more kindness and happiness.  Our lives have been flipped upside down, and we’ve had to make a series of adjustments and we are still learning to navigate this “new normal” that is ever changing as new mandates and circumstances continue to change.

SpreadHappinessForPreston turns 7 this year, on 11/19/2020 as this date marks my son Preston’s 7th birthday.  In the early days of my grief after losing our son to SIDS, I desperately needed to find meaning for his life.  I needed to feel like he mattered, however short his life was.  Since Preston radiated with happiness, SpreadHappinessForPreston was born and has been rewarding for me as a mother.  Hopefully it has also been for all those who have participated, or for the  beneficiaries of an act of kindness made in my son’s memory.

SpreadHappiness for Preston is a day to pay it forward.  A day to make the world a little brighter and happier.  I ask for your participation on November 19th, not only for Preston, but because our world is hopelessly in need of happiness.  Remember that paying it forward doesn’t need to cost a thing – just make it your mission to make someone smile that day. J

Giving someone the gift of happiness, will not only make them feel good, it will also give you the feels.  As the wise Maya Angelou once said I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.  I attest to this.  When I hear that someone has participated, or learn of their act of kindness, I remember it, and it makes me smile like no other.

Wishing you a wonderful day, and holiday season as it is upon our door already.

#SpreadHappinessForPreston

Preston <3

SpreadHappinessForPreston - Year 6 - November 19, 2019

SpreadHappinessForPreston is turning 6 on November 19, 2019. For those unfamiliar with this event, it is something I created 6 years ago to honor my son, Preston, who passed away (SIDS) when he was 16 weeks old. November 19th is his birthday and since Preston was the happiest baby, it made sense for me to create a movement to spread as much happiness as I could around the world on his birthday.

As I have with years past, I encourage you and your loved ones to complete acts of kindness to make this a day as happy as can be, all around the world. Through blogging, and message boards, Preston’s story has travelled all around the world – from Russia to South Africa and Australia. Though my blogging days are mostly a thing of the past, blogging on spreadhappinessforpreston.blogspot.com allowed me to connect with other bereaved parents, no matter their physical location. Writing was a wonderful and powerful outlet for my grief, and I made amazing connections during this time.

Preston was a shining light and continues to be from up above. He embodied happiness. His smiles and giggles live in my heart and brighten up my days. It’s for this reason that I want to share him with the world, and want to make the world, if only a little, a happier place on his birthday. Heaven knows our world could use more happiness.

As Preston’s younger sister, Samantha (Sami), gets older (almost 4), she often asks about her brother and it’s certainly been a challenge teaching her about heaven and where her brother is. We have never shied away from talking about Preston with Sami and he is part of the blessing she says before dinner. She loves her brother, even though she has never met him, I know that he watches over her and that they share a special bond.

Just as Preston always has a place in our hearts, I hope that you find a place for him in yours, and join SpreadHappinessForPreston as it, and Preston turn 6.

I found this quote a few years back, and it seems so fitting that I mention it every year:

Happiness is like jam. You can’t spread even a little without getting some on yourself. – Anonymous

May completing an act of kindness bring a smile to your face, just as much as it does the recipient. Remember that making someone smile, can be as simple as giving a hug, sharing happy memories, or letting someone go ahead of you at Starbucks.

Thank you in advance for your participation, it brings me joy to share my son and his memory with you. If you are so inclined to share your acts of kindness on social media, please use #SpreadHappinessForPreston …I know it’s a mouthful J Or you may share them with me via email (my personal email is tsunaze1@gmail.com or on my blog’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/SpreadHappinessForPreston

Have a blessed day and Thanksgiving!
Kindest Regards,
~Cat

SpreadHappinessForPreston - Year 5

SpreadHappinessForPreston is turning 5 on November 19, 2018.  If you are unfamiliar with this event, it’s something I created 5 years ago to honor my son, Preston, who passed away (SIDS) when he was 16 weeks old.  November 19th is his birthday.

This annual event is one where I encourage people to complete acts of kindness to make this day as happy as can be around the world.  Preston’s memory has travelled all over the world reaching far-away places like South Africa, a place I don’t have any family or friends.  I have connected with a lot of people from all over the world through a blog (spreadhappinessforpreston.blogspot.com) that I wrote during my first years as a bereaved mom.  It’s amazing the connections you can make with people when grieving so heavily.

I’ve always said that Preston embodied happiness.  He always smiled and hardly ever fussed.  I still carry all his smiles with me, and they continue to brighten up my days.  For this reason, I think it’s just so fitting to try to make as many people smile as possible.

We’ve since been blessed with Preston’s baby sister, Samantha (Sami), who will be turning 3 in December.  She brings us so much happiness and is the light of our lives.  But Preston is never forgotten, and always on our minds.  I hope that you find a place for him in yours, and join SpreadHappinessForPreston as it, and Preston turns 5. 

May it bring a smile to your face as you complete an act (or acts if you are so inclined) of kindness.  Remember that making someone smile, can be as simple as giving them a hug, sharing happy memories, or letting someone go in front of you at the grocery store.

Happiness is like jam.  You can’t spread even a little without getting some on yourself. – Anonymous

Thank you in advance for your participation, it means the absolute world to me to share my son and his memory with you.  If you are so inclined to share your acts of kindness on social media, please use #SpreadHappinessForPreston …I know it’s a mouthful. :)  Or you may share them with me via email (my personal email is tsunaze1@gmail.com or on my blog’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/SpreadHappinessForPreston.

Have a blessed day and Thanksgiving!

Sincerely,

~Cat

Since you've been gone

Dear Preston,

It's that awful day again.  It's been 4 years now, can you believe it?  I wonder if you are even aware of time passage in Heaven.  I hope you are surrounded by loved ones on this day.

I constantly wonder if you've grown or what it's like up there?  I've heard that in Heaven, there's no bodies and you're just a spirit or energy.  It doesn't stop me from wondering what you look like at 4 years old.  And what about your mind?  Do you instantly become aware of everything and can understand all my thoughts?  Or do you still have the mind of a four month old?

I don't know what to believe, but I know this.  You know when I need you.  I can feel it whenever I call out to you in my head.  Whenever I need reassurance, you send me some kind of sign.  For years, I've looked to see a license plate that would have your initials.  It made me feel like if I could see it, you would be telling me that you are thinking of me.

This weekend on the way back from swim class with your sister, there was a car in front of me with the following plate:  SWT PEA

Do you remember that I always called you Sweet P?  I think this is as close as I'm going to get.  Seeing it days just days before having to deal with today - it reminded me that you are with me wherever I go.  You keep me grounded.

I spent the day with your sister today.  We cuddled as we watched a variety of shows she enjoys.  We went shopping for some clothes for her.  She keeps growing!  I feel guilty whenever I have a thought along the lines of I wish she would stop growing or I wish she would stay a baby forever.  Because I know what it's like to have a baby stop growing.  I want her to have a long healthy life.  I wanted that for you too.

Without think about it, we ended up buying three articles of clothing with rainbows on it.  A Mickey/Minnie Mouse t-shirt that I thought was cute.  A t-shirt with a sequin heart and a rainbow within the heart.  And a rainbow striped dress - your sister picked that one herself with no help from me.  While Sami napped, I removed all the tags from the new clothes and was telling your dad how Sami picked that dress.  He said something that hadn't even occurred to me: that's interesting considering what today is.

I kept busy during her nap.  Probably one of the roughest nap times considering you passed during a nap on this dreadful day.  I meal prepped our slow cooker dinner for tomorrow.  Before I knew it, she was awake. 

I took her to the park which is her new favorite thing to do.  We were gone for over an hour.  She had fun going up to the slide and sliding down.  She liked going through the little tunnels they have on the playground.  She kept wanting to go say hi to Nemo, a plastic statue they have at the pool which is located next to the park.  He's gated in and the pool is closed so all she could do was wave to him through the fence.

We also went to the pet store so that she could see the fishies and any other animals that might be there.  I had wanted to take her to the zoo, but there just was too many other things I wanted to do.

She smiled a lot.  So did I.

It leaves me perplexed with how I feel today.  I've had happy moments for sure.  I've had moments where I've been sad.  I had trouble putting your sister down to sleep tonight.  She fell asleep so fast after having such a fun day.  I didn't want to let go.  I felt guilty for having fun without you.

Since you've been gone, those are feelings that I have almost every day.  And then I remember the rainbows, and the bunnies.  I remember that you want me to have happiness in my life, and I try so hard to have it.  Your sister makes it easy.  She's my sunshine.

Perhaps it's fitting that I say this is her song:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy, when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
No please don't take my sunshine away

It's my prayer every day.

I miss you terribly, but I know that you hear my prayer.  I know because she makes a sound in her sleep whenever I'm worried.  I see rainbows in unexpected places - a reflection on the floor as I walk into the office from the light catching the glass door at just the right angle.

I know you are with me as I continue this incredibly difficult journey without you.  But I still miss you, and I always will.  Thank you for being our guardian angel.

Thinking of you always,
-Mama

Save the date - #SpreadHappinessForPreston - Year 4

It's a hard realization today to see that I haven't blogged in over a year.  In no means does it mean I don't think of Preston, as I think of him daily.  I know part of it is due to the lack of time I have to do leisure activities, and the other part has to be that I don't need to get things off my chest like I did a couple years ago.  I do hope to be able to blog again soon, whether it be about loss, being a mom to a rainbow, or anything else that I've found to make life a little easier (I finally started meal planning and omg, life changer!).

I've recycled parts of the lower post... i just feel like some parts of it I've perfected as much as I can, so apologies, if it feels like you've already read some of this.

Thanks for still following me along my journey and helping spread happiness around the world... the world can certainly use it...

Happiness is like jam.  You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself. - Anonymous

I keep using this quote, since it best describes what #SpreadHappinessForPreston is all about.  Spreading happiness should not only make someone’s day, but it should make you smile as well.

For those of you unfamiliar with #SpreadHappinessForPreston, it is a day/movement I created to honor my late son Preston.  I wanted to find a way to honor his life and memory and this is what I came up with.  Each year, on November 19th, his birthday, I ask everyone to spread happiness in any way they can.  My son was the embodiment of happy.  Hardly ever cried, and although he only lived for four months, he gave me so many smiles which still brighten up my days.

Preston was taken from us in March 2014 when he passed during a nap at an in-home daycare from SIDS.  While I take Preston's birthday as an opportunity to honor his life by attempting to have others spread happiness all around the world, I think it's also a great opportunity to bring awareness to SIDS which is sadly something real.  One of those things you hear about but never really think will happen to you.  SIDS is filled with questions as no one really knows what it is, or what causes it.  There are many theories out there, but it's very difficult to determine if any of them are plausible.  I do hope and pray that one day, we can answer the question of what causes SIDS, and really what is SIDS.  In the meantime, all we can do is do everything we can to reduce the risks, as there is really no way to prevent it.  It's a frightening fact.  

Having lost a baby to SIDS, having another child was terrifying, but one day at a time, we make it through.  Preston’s sister will be turning 2 in December, which means SIDS is something I fear less.  Now I get to have all the regular fears other parents have!  The first year was definitely a challenge.  Sleeping with the baby monitor inches from my face (ok, I’ll be honest, I still do…), checking on her constantly in the middle of the night, etc.  Samantha definitely has a wonderful guardian angel in her brother. J

Back to #SpreadHappinessForPreston - It is the fourth year that I am promoting this event.  Anyone and everyone is invited and encouraged to participate.  The premise is to share happiness on this day.  Since Preston radiated with happiness, it only seemed fitting that sharing this contagious feeling would be the best way to honor him.  This world can be so cruel, and I believe we can always use a little more happiness and light.  The beautiful thing is that, like the quote above says, completing an act of kindness not only makes the person on the receiving end smile, but it surely makes you smile as well.

Preston continually teaches me life lessons, an irony that I have a hard time grasping, as I should be the one doing the teaching.  Nonetheless, I don't take any of it for granted for it's made me a better person.  He's taught me how to smile every day, because he wouldn't want me to always be sad.  He's taught me how to appreciate the small things, and not to take anything for granted.  He’s shown me a new way of looking at life; perspective is everything.  He continues to slowly help me regain my faith by sending signs in the shape of rainbows and bunnies.  Often times, when I get a nervous feeling about my daughter, he'll send me some sign that she's doing alright - like in the middle of the night if she hasn't moved in a long time and I'm about to check on her, she'll suddenly make a little sound or turn to her side (still happens to this day).  My daughter does have quite the guardian angel!

November 19th, Preston's 4th birthday, will be a day I hope brings happiness to as many people as possible - including you.  I hope it to be a day where everyone can spread a little happiness in the world. A pay it forward day, or a day filled with acts of kindness.  A day where smiles inundate the world, and happiness is just felt everywhere you go.

For the past three years, on November 19th, random acts of kindness were made all over the world to honor my little boy, thanks to people who read my blog (which I’ve totally neglected this past year L) and friends I’ve made along the way. I know it sounds crazy, but it somehow reached all the continents.  My little boy and his smile continue to travel the world and I hope they do forever...

I'd like to share some of the acts of kindness that were done to serve as inspiration, and perhaps even to make you smile:

·         Several of my wonderful coworkers bought multi-colored balloons to be released for Preston's birthday (he loved colors).

·         A star was named for Preston

·         Books were donated to a school in Preston's name

·         Donations to charities were made (SIDS foundation of America, Children's Hospital, and several others)

·         Larger than normal gratuities were given away

·         A memorial stone was given to us with Preston's name and birthdate

·         Teddy bears were given to underprivileged children; toys were given to charities

·         Doors were open for strangers

·         Treats were brought in for colleagues

·         Trees were planted to honor the children another family had lost

·         Flowers were given away, just because

·         Every year, my husband brings pizza over to the firehouse, for the men who tried to save our son (while pregnant, Preston would move like crazy when I ate pizza)

·         Diapers and wipes were donated to struggling mothers

·         Lunch was bought for the person waiting next in line

·         Many people gave to food banks or gave away gift cards for a warm meal

·         Buy a lotto ticket for the clerk that sells them

·         Samantha's daycare plans to read Preston's favorite book to all the kids that attend the daycare on November 18th, since November 19th is a Saturday this year

·         Breakfast was made for a spouse that was running late

·         Popcorn & cash were taped to RedBox machines for people to enjoy a free movie and treat

And those are just some of the acts of kindness that were shared with me in the past couple years.  As illustrated above, remember that money isn't necessary to spread happiness: 

·         Hugs

·         Smiles

·         Saying things like "I love you" and "I appreciate you" to loved ones

·         Share your favorite funny video or picture

·         Cook your child's, or spouse's favorite meal

·         Ask someone "How are you - really?" and listen

·         Share happy memories or stories

·         Think of someone you haven't thought of in a long time, and send them a text - letting them know you thought of them, and it made you smile

·         Volunteer to help someone or an organization

·         Pack a lunch and give it to someone in need

·         Give blood

·         Let people go in front of you while in line

·         Donate unused clothes, toys

Please keep in mind that if you do make a donation, it does not have to be in Preston's name.  Make the donation in the name of someone that means a lot to you, or to someone close to you.  Make the donation to a charity that means a lot to you.  While Preston is the driving force behind this event, the point is to spread happiness around the world - the more people it touches, the more proud of my son I am.  He is creating this happiness.  Without him, this special day would not exist.

At the risk of repeating myself, much like the quote I shared at the top of this message, the added bonus of spreading happiness is that it has the contagious effect of putting a smile on your own face.  Much like Preston's smile was contagious, and continues to be thanks to the fabulous invention of photography.  The world can be such a dark place.  I hope that Preston's birthday, this year, and for all the years to come, makes it a brighter world, even if only for one day a year.  One person at a time, one act of kindness after another.

I invite you to share your random acts of kindness on social media using #SpreadHappinessForPreston.  You can also share through email (tsunaze1@gmail.com) or on my blog's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/SpreadHappinessForPreston

I hope that you plan to join me and that #SpreadHappinessForPreston makes you smile.  I have cards that can be handed out when you do pay it forward.  If you are interested, I'd be more than happy to send you one (or more - spreading happiness does not have to end with one person, one act).  Simply email me for more details.  If it's not too much to ask, please share this with your friends and family.  The more people spreading happiness, the happier the day will be.

You have my sincerest gratitude for considering participating and sharing this event.  It's my hope that not only you will make someone smile, but that in the end, it also makes you smile.

Have a blessed day!