The more time elapses since losing Preston, I realize that gradually less are acquainted with my son; his story. Concurrently, finding the right inspiration to write this yearly post becomes more challenging. A symptom of being 10 years removed from the initial loss and shock of it all?
I’ll start here: After losing my 16-week-old son to SIDS in March 2014, in an attempt to feel less alone and isolated, I spent sleepless nights reading quotes about grief, frequented forums for bereaved parents and read blogs about infant loss. One story stayed with me: a family who had lost their daughter made it a mission to pay it forward in her memory. With that in mind, I started a blog journaling my own journey, sharing my innermost thoughts, letting myself be vulnerable, all in the hopes of helping others going through a similar devasting loss. I incorporated the “pay it forward” philosophy aiming to inspire others to spread happiness on Preston’s birthday (November 19th). Preston was such a happy baby - he embodied happiness I’ve always said. It only seemed fitting to brand his birthday and my blog: SpreadHappinessForPreston.
This blog was also my emotional outlet. It prevented me from being swallowed by
darkness. In time, I’ve come to realize
that others related to the range of emotions I detailed: pain, confusion, anxiety,
guilt, numbness. Succeeding wasn’t possible
with every post, however I attempted to be a beacon of hope and positivity
every time I wrote. The roller coaster
ride I embarked on over 10 years ago has a lot less twists and turns, ups and
downs, but when they happen, I often find myself reading my own posts for
inspiration and solace. Crazy thing is,
a lot of it, I don’t even remember writing.
This attests that there is such a thing as grief fog.
That said, please know that whatever you are going through,
you are never alone. Someone else has gone
through it, is going through it right now.
I understand feeling alone, and that it can feel impossible – but please
reach out to someone if you are struggling. You got this! ♥
Preston and SpreadHappinessForPreston turn 11 this year, on Tuesday
11/19/2024. To say that I’ve been
overwhelmed through the years by reading how others have spread happiness is an
understatement. Throughout the darkness
that exists in our world, there is still a lot of brightness. I hope that those who participate find it
meaningful and know that it touches my heart and soul more deeply that I could
ever imagine; it gives me purpose as Preston’s mother, and gives his short life
purpose just as much.
SpreadHappinessForPreston makes the world a happier place,
certainly brighter – if only for a day.
I hope you will consider participating in spreading happiness on
Preston’s birthday. If not in memory of
Preston, simply because spreading happiness improves our own well-being by
feeling the genuine joy for someone else’s happiness. Paying it forward doesn’t need to cost a
thing – just make it your mission to make someone smile on November 19th.
Wishing you a blissfully happy day, and joyous Thanksgiving and Holiday season.
