Fundraising event in the comfort of your own home - August 1, 10:30am MST

Good evening friends and family,

Through my blogging, I made a good friend in Rachel Lewis, who is a manager with Arbonne.  Through the art of the internet, networking has become quite popular and we are collaborating with the following online (in the comfort of your own home) fundraiser on Saturday, August 1: Cat's Arbonne Fundraiser for the SIDS Foundation.  The event is at 10:30am MST (12:30pm EST)

I've always told myself that I never want to make a profit in sharing Preston's story, my story.  If I write a book one day, I've promised myself to ensure all the proceeds go to a SIDS related charity.  Since this is for charity, I feel less troubled in sharing this event with you.  Additionally, I've never been one to like mixing friends/family and money, but given that if 5 people attend this event, 100% of the proceeds will be donated to the SIDS Foundation of America (in Preston's name), I feel that as the parent to a child who has passed from SIDS/unexplained causes, it's my duty to try.

Please note that there is no pressure, and that I will be in no way upset if you can't or don't want to attend.  However, if you are curious about Arbonne products, if you like Arbonne products, or if you have questions about the Arbonne products, I encourage you to attend.  Especially since the result could mean more money for research into SIDS.

Should you be interested, please see the details below.  As far as we know, whether you are in Canada, the US, Australia, the UK or Poland, this event should work for you.  You'll be able to login on your computer (or smartphone!) through a website called www.zoom.us.

Thank in advance for considering :)

Best regards,

~Cat

Blinded

I have to start off by saying, thank you Taylor, for sending me a super sweet message through BBC.  Taylor shared with me the following:

I had to share that on my way to Target today, I passed a magnificent field of sunflowers and immediately thought of Preston. I really had no reason to as I was just going over my grocery list in my head, but the thought of him after seeing those flowers brought a big smile to my face today. I just wanted you to know. Thank you for sharing your precious boy. Sending thoughts of comfort, healing and peace. Have a wonderful day, Taylor ps-I will be spreading some happiness for Preston not only Nov. 19, but as often as I can. 

How powerful it can be when someone reaches out with something so purely thoughtful and kind.  This made my whole day, even if it wasn't a bad day.  This just brought warmth to my heart.  It made me smile.  It made me proud of my son for making an impact on the world with his beautiful smile.  He was such a gift to me, to my family.  And I'm realizing more and more that he was a gift to the world.

I was just on Facebook and I realized I had "Other" messages.  Three moms who had reached out to me in September and October.  I feel blind for not noticing before.  How can that be?  I feel disappointment in myself for not noticing sooner.  But I have reached out now, and I hope that all is well.  What's interesting is that I noticed this on the same day I received email where I was being reached out to.  One lady has a relative who just lost an infant.  Another lost her son, and now has a close friend who has lost her daughter to SIDS.  I hope that I am somehow able to help these families with my writing, with sharing my experience, but also by reaching out myself.  Like Taylor did for me.  Like others who have reached out in the past, others who reach out on a daily basis.  I am reaching out because I know how powerful that can be.  How much of an impact it can make.  I reach out, because I genuinely care.  I care about making this journey a little less painful for others walking down this lonely dark path.

We all know someone who's lost somebody special.  Whether it be a parent, or sibling.  An aunt or uncle, cousin or grandparent.  A child.  A best friend.  Should you be thinking about them, or their loved one, let them know.  It can be such a wonderful exchange.  Share the why you were thinking about them.  Or simply say, "I thought of your mom today" or "I saw a butterfly today, and it made me think of you and your baby".  Or, "I know today is a tough day for you, and I want you to know that I'm thinking about you."

These things are so simple, and can brighten up someone's day.  Someone's tough day.  Or even like me today - someone's day that was not a bad one, but that all of a sudden, became one of the brightest days in a long time.  And I think, that warrants a Preston picture.  Spread that smile by sweet P.  Show the world, what a smile can do.  Or stick your tongue out, that works too.

Mondays & Test Results

Mondays are always interesting aren't they?  They come around so quickly.  Wouldn't it be nice if weeks had 8 days?  A bonus day off?  Funday?  The weekends appear to be getting shorter as I get older. "Time is relative" is as it's best once again!  Mondays often come with a slew of slip ups, at least by one person.  I get a bad case of the Mondays every other month or so.. maybe more often but shush.  Who likes to admit to that?

My husband woke me up this morning letting me know we had an email from "Counsyl", the company that is testing my blood for genetic disorders and deficiencies.  I tried signing on and of course it didn't work.  What do you want from me at 5:00am?  As I woke up a little more, I realized I'd never created an account with them, so I did, hoping that it would somehow know to connect my results with my email address.  When posed the question, do you want the bad news or the good news first, I always answer the bad news first.  A) I want to deal with it asap, and B) I want to end on a good note.

So do you want the good news or bad news first?  You're in luck, there's no bad news.  My tests all came back negative.  What a relief!!  This is one less thing to worry about right?  While, there is still a chance that Preston had some genetic disorder we didn't know about, that was undetected during the autopsy, the odds are rather low.  Perhaps SIDS is not such a "catch-all" after all, or maybe it really is it's own "disease".  Hopefully, we figure it out one day.  I'd love for science to pinpoint what causes SIDS, or rule out more things that don't cause SIDS, or discover that SIDS really isn't undetermined - it's caused by "X".

We did everything right.  We did everything by the book.  We followed all the "preventative" measures they advise about.  While the likelihood of this happening again is low, it isn't totally impossible.  That's still really scary, but I will forever have fears about losing future children.  I will forever have thoughts at the back of my mind wondering "what if they stop breathing like their brother".  However, these test results give me hope.  They diminish some fears, and they do give me some peace of mind.  We'll see if I feel the same should I get pregnant again.

That being said, my week started off really well, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the week.  Maybe it won't have a bonus, 8th day, Funday, but good news on a Monday always makes for a good week.  I hope your Monday was a good one, foreboding a pleasant week.  And smile, Monday is now over ;)

Pincushion

I've often felt like a pincushion, getting poked by needles for blood tests and IVs.  I had the pleasure to once again be a pincushion last week.  One poke for my Remicade IV infusion, one poke for blood tests.  The Remicade infusions are supposed to keep my Crohn's Disease in remission.  So far so good I would say.  I certainly don't feel as good as I did when I was pregnant with Preston, but I don't have stomach aches on a daily basis.  I don't even have them on a weekly basis.  I receive these infusions every 7 weeks and I will save you the heartache of how much they cost.  I'm very thankful for insurance!  And yes, I get to be a pincushion every 7 weeks.  Not fun, but I feel like it's doing a better job than the pills I used to have to take on a daily basis...which at one point was 15!

The blood test was for more genetic testing, which my OB suggested.  The hope is that everything comes back negative and it gives me a little bit more peace of mind for a future pregnancy and baby.  The test will cover about one hundred diseases and deficiencies, but the main thing we will be looking at is the results regarding "Medium chain acyl-CoA Dehidrogenase Deficiency", or "MCAD).  MCAD is 

"a treatable inherited disease in which the body cannot turn certain fatty acids into energy due to a deficient enzyme. As a result, partially metabolized fatty acids can accumulate in body tissues, causing damage to the brain, liver, and other organs. If treated early and consistently, people with MCAD deficiency can live normal lives."

(Source - Counsyl website - https://www.counsyl.com/services/family-prep-screen/diseases/medium-chain-acyl-coa-dehydrogenase-deficiency/)


Apparently, MCAD has been associated with SIDS.  While the study is rather recent (~5 years), if I'm not a carrier, it could give me a little peace of mind as to not losing another child to SIDS.  This study states that it's "possible" that undiagnosed MCAD could have caused SIDS.  Hopefully the results come in this week or at the latest, early next week.  Think good thoughts for the results to be negative.  If they are positive, we'll have hubby tested and go from there.

Fears are interesting aren't they?  I used to be afraid of needles.  I can remember being in grade school on the days where we would get our immunizations.  I hated it.  Honestly, couldn't care less now when I need to be poked.  Funny story from when I was in the hospital in 2012, forgive me if I forget which time.  I want to say the first time in May?  I had an IV, since I was NPO (nothing by mouth) due to the bowel obstruction.  The IV gave me nutrients via saline solutions.  The IV gave me pain meds and nausea meds.  But I still had to be poked every morning for blood draws.  This one day, they had to change my IV (it only stays in one area for 2-3 days before they have to change it as to not damage the vein).  They undid my IV, and then something must have come up because at least an hour passed before they tried to get a new line in.  One nurse tried.  Another nurse tried.  The head nurse tried.  Then they called the big guns, the flight of life paramedic.  She couldn't do it either.  I say big guns, because the flight of life paramedics are supposed to be the best at putting in IVs, since they have to get them going in cases of life or death.  They eventually had to get an ultrasound machine, to find a vein, to be able to get the IV done.  I had a good laugh.  I'm sure morphine helped, lol.  Needless to say, I've never been poked more in my life and I'm not afraid of needles anymore.  I don't really feel afraid of much anymore.  Side effect from losing your baby?  Highly probable.  I could be afraid that the results of this test will show I'm the carrier of MCAD, or perhaps something worse.  But what's the point?  Life is going to throw at me, what it wants, and I will just have to find a way to deal.  I've done it so far, haven't I?  Is it fair that I've had to? No, but life isn't fair.

Perhaps, I'm a pincushion for needles, but everyone is a pincushion to something.  We all have our troubles, our obstacles to overcome.  We all have "our thing".  They aren't all equal, but no one person is the same, so someone else's struggle might seem miniscule to me, but it can be like climbing Mount Everest to another.  When we were younger, we were taught, "don't judge a book by it's cover".  Everything isn't what it always appears to be.  Be kind, you never know when you'll make someone's day.  Someone might seem to be doing fine, but down under, they could be going through the toughest thing they've had to face.