I worked in the supermarket industry for a good 10 years, my first job being that of a cashier. When I moved out on my own, the holiday season meant that I could buy a meat pie as we had them in the frozen section. Yum! Search as I may, when I first moved here to Colorado, I could not find any. Not in regular groceries stores. Not in specialty markets. I took it upon myself to search for a recipe on the web, found one and have altered it and made it my own over the years. It's now a classic for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Everyone loves it. Every time I make one, it seems to be better than the last. The picture above doesn't really do it justice, as the lighting was really poor. I tried to enhance it with my new Adobe Photoshop that hubby gave me for my birthday last week, but that's the best I could do. Basically, the meats are ground beef, ground chicken, ground pork and some bacon for good measure. Add some onions and riced potatoes with some spices, put it in a pie and voila!
This is probably as creative as I've been in the kitchen, and I started off with the base of someone else's recipe. I was watching Masterchef Junior this afternoon and was just astounded by what these 8 to 12 year olds can do! I'd have to practice and ruin a lot of dishes before I could compete with the likes of those children! It's really inspiring to see them go. They have these ideas, and turn them into restaurant quality dishes and I'm not talking Burger King or Chili's here. They have ambition and drive. They are motivated and competitive. They have dreams. Should they continue to work and try as hard as they do, I have no doubt that they will succeed in fulfilling their culinary dreams.
As it is a competition show where one child wins $100,000 and a trophy (bragging rights!), every week, 2 kids have been eliminated. Masterchef can be pretty brutal, as the hosts are often really blunt (and vulgar). Masterchef Junior shows a softer side to them, and they always give positive feedback to the children. The show usually ends with the eliminated contestants saying what they took away from the competition. "I have more confidence in myself" was what one of them said this week. I know another said something like "I made the top 10 and that says a lot about my abilities in the kitchen. I won't give up my dream".
It made me think about how each month, at grief group therapy/counseling, whatever you want to call it, we do the same. We each say what we took away from the session. So far, I've been able to do that every month, which I think is important. It goes without saying, that you don't get over the loss of a child. You find ways to adapt and cope. How I've been able to cope and heal, is in big part because of these groups of parents who attend and share their experiences, thoughts, fears. I remember being stuck on the "why" we lost Preston. On the "what is SIDS". On the "what if it could have been prevented". For starters, you can't prevent SIDS. You can reduce the risks, which we did everything in our power that we possibly could knowing he was more at risk as a preemie. During one session, one of the parents, Abby, talked about how they lost their son Ryder, and how they knew what caused his death. Knowing didn't make the pain less. Knowing didn't give peace of mind. Knowing didn't take away the guilt. That helped me a lot.
In that same fashion, I always try to end my blog entries with something positive, or something that I've taken away from the experience or thoughts I shared. I hope that in reading my entries, you are able to ask yourself "what am I taking away from this". Perhaps, try to ask yourself that question upon finishing my entry each time. Feel free to share, I do love the feedback. It's helpful to me, and I hope it is to you and others as well.
I hope that I'm often able end my blogs the way I describe above. I really want this blog to continue helping others. Today, hearing those kids with such enthusiasm, with such passion for life already. Those children with great attitudes - it made me realize that I need more of that. I have my talents and maybe they aren't in the kitchen (to the same extent as those kids anyway), but I shouldn't sell myself short on what I can do and what I do well. I'm not 12 with my whole life ahead of me. The biggest challenge in life hasn't been to cook the perfect egg. It's been dealing with the loss of my son. My sweet sweet Preston. Obviously, there's no comparison but I think, if I can somehow allow a little innocence back into my life, maybe just maybe, that enthusiasm for life can resurface.
