Showing posts with label Cats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cats. Show all posts

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Allergy triggered memory


This creature causes my nose to run, my eyes to water and itch and make me sneeze.  It isn't always the case, but there are some days where it gets pretty hard to tolerate.  Last night was one of those nights.  I took a Benadryl and hey, I did sleep great!  My allergies were still present this morning though, so I took a Claritin instead, as it doesn't make me drowsy.  

As I was dealing with the symptoms that accompanies my allergies to cats, I was transported back to my pregnancy with Preston.  It was amazing.  While I was pregnant, I had no allergies.  No symptoms.  No nothing.  Crohn's was in total remission too.  I felt like Preston had magical powers, because I'd never read that pregnancy could cute allergies, even if only during pregnancy.  Now, when I have severe symptoms due to allergic reactions, I long to have Preston in my womb again.  Who wouldn't want such a little miracle? :)

I find it amazing how many random things can trigger memories of Preston, considering how short a time he was with us.  There are definitely some things I would prefer to avoid thinking about, but there's a lot of good.  Consider Calex herself.  The cats didn't seem to care for Preston much.  We paid a lot less attention to them, and Preston would make noises and his movements were rapid, sharp and unpredictable.  They stayed away from him for the most part.  However, they were starting to warm up to him.  I was taking a video of Preston once, and Calex decided to rub her body against his bouncer.  To a cat that can mean "that's mine" or "I love you".  I rather like to think they were starting to warm up to him, and get used to the changes in our lives.

I'll never really know whether they would have ended up warming up to him.  I was often scared that they might scratch him, or jump on him, but they never did.  I think that counts for something.  I look forward to the next random thought about Preston, the next memory that I didn't will into my mind, but rather the next one that takes me by surprise.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Pets

It's hard not to be thankful for pets when I have a cat on my lap as I try to type my entry tonight.  With her loud purrs, Calex decided to be lovey-dovey tonight.  Earlier, Acro did the same.  His purrs aren't as audible.

On day 12 of my 30 days of gratitude challenge, I am thankful for pets.  They bring us unconditional love.  They bring us companionship.  They bring us happiness, and yes sometimes frustration.  They give us something to care for, another reason to be happy to come home.

We didn't have pets when I was really young.  We got a dog when I was six, I think.  For my brother's birthday, he got a Daschund - Ben.  We unfortunately didn't have him for very long.  We didn't have a fence back then...  Poor little Ben.  I don't remember much about him aside from seeing pictures.  He had tiny little paws, and was a pretty happy dog.  After Ben, we adopted my Grandmere's dog after she passed away - Fifine.  She was a fat dog, lol.  A mutt, a mix of who knows what.  But she was sweet.  She'd shake your hand, and sit pretty.  She loved chasing balls, eating carrots, and whatever leftovers we had.  Who needs dog food, or a garbage disposal when you have a dog?  I knew this dog my whole life.  My Grandmere already had her by the time I was born.  I couldn't stand not knowing what would happen to her so I begged and begged my parents to keep her and my dad brought her home one day.  I have a lot of memories with Fifine.  A lot of them involve my Grandmere too, so they are memories I cherish deeply as I lost my grandmother when I was only 8.  Fifine, we had to put down when she was 15.  She had a full life.  A happy life.  A life full of food.  A life full of love.
 
With my brothers Ted & Jason, and the dogs Fifine & Ben
 
 
Before Fifine passed, we finally got a cat.  I was so happy.  I'd always wanted a cat.  He did all the cute things a kitten does.  Chase the string, bounce around all cute.  He'd even try to catch Fifine's fluffly tail when it wagged.  They became fast friends.  Our cat, Ti-Mine, would sleep on my bed during the day until I developed allergies.  He enjoyed going outside, and catching bugs, and other little critters.  He too was very well fed, and was rather "round".  It was nice to have a little being to care for.  It was nice to feel loved when he'd come by for petting.
 
 
And now, we have 2 tuxedo cats - Acro & Calex.  They are brother and sister - born 10/10/10.  Hard to believe they'll be four in a month!  They are easy to love.  They have their own little quirks, unique to each of them.  Calex can't meow.  The only time she meows is when she's calling for her brother because he's behind a closed door that she's not behind.  Then she's loud.  But then again, it's still not really a meow.  It's this loud pitched squeak.  She sings at night as she "sees" bugs.  Loud squeak.  I find it funny.  Acro is our meower.  He meows when he wants food.  He meows when he wants to be pet.  He meows when he plays.  He'll growl at his toys.  It's super cute.
 
This is when they were still kittens.  Acro is the one looking at the camera - white nose.


Calex is mischievous - always eating shoelaces, cords and whatever is in sight (dryer sheet anyone?).  Acro is more playful, and can be somewhat of a sneak, especially when food is involved.  Oh, you left the pantry door open? That must mean you want me to make a hole into our cat food bag!  Calex likes to "flop" on the floor so that you pet her.  Acro likes his belly rubbed, and will nudge your hand or arm for more pets.  He also gives little love bites. Calex chases invisible bugs, while Acro plays fetch, like a dog.  Calex has learned how to sit on command (and gesture).  Acro loves to be clean and constantly preens himself.  Calex just pulls hair our of herself.  She thinks that's what it means to clean herself
Calex - last summer

 
Acro, just now, saying stop typing and keep petting me!


Pets are sweet, and are always willing to give you love.  Pets always listen when you have a story to tell.  They don't judge.  Our cats might be scaredy-cats with 90% of the population, but they are loving with us, and that's what matters. :)

Preston seemed oblivious to the cats.  I think he was starting to notice them as they were starting to feel more comfortable with him in the house.  They shied away from him a lot.  I don't think that was a bad thing.  I often feared that they might jump into his crib, but they never did.  I think they were jealous because they got less pets from me.  They didn't seem to like his cries, even though they weren't loud.  I think they had a hard time adjusting and it's hard to tell if they really noticed that something happened to him.  I think they just didn't have enough interaction with him, and they were probably scared of him since his movements were so jerky as he was learning to control his limbs.  If they had enough interaction with him, I think they would have grown to love him and want to protect him.  When I was in the hospital with my bowel obstructions, the cats started sleeping on our bed to keep Brett company.  How sweet is that? They don't usually sleep on the bed and stopped when I got home, though they were extremely lovey with me for a while.  How interesting the way their minds work. 

Would Preston have loved dogs more like his dad? Or cats like his mom?  He was so easy going that I think he would have loved both equally.

Thank you for the unconditional love Acro & Calex.  Ironically, I started this entry with Calex on my lap, and I end it with Acro. :)



Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Happy Thoughts/Moments

I was warned after yesterday's meeting that this week and the next might be difficult because thinking about the day we lost our babies just brings all those memories rushing back.  Quite honestly, I kind of feel like the year is just going to get more difficult as we get deeper and deeper into it.  November is when all our birthdays are, Brett, Preston and I.  Thanksgiving will be just after.  Thanksgiving is when we took our baby home from the NICU last year.  Thanksgiving is a family holiday, which I was looking forward to with Preston.  And then Christmas will be around the corner.  And then it'll be the beginning of next year, and then March...

But I don't want to drown into depression.  I don't want to lose myself in my pain.  I want to remember my son, and I don't want to cry every time I do so.  I think I've done a pretty good job at that so far... not that I'm quite sure how.  I want to be happy, and not feel guilty for feeling to happy.  So I think, perhaps the way to do so, is to start with happy thoughts. Hopefully that will evolve into some happy moments, and perhaps that will then morph into happy days, one day.

Hopefully this isn't too redundant for a post.  I've talked about finding happiness in the small things in one of my first posts.  I don't want to repeat those things, so I hope not to, forgive me if I do.  I found happiness today when my husband sent me flowers at work again.  Isn't he great?  They are as vibrant as they are beautiful.  Yellow roses, red tulips and purple iris'.  Ah Iris... there's another thing that makes me happy.  Remember that song I talked about the other day?  While, it can have such sad interpretations, it also reminds me of my unique bond with Preston, and not much can bring me more happiness.

I'm watching America's Got Talent again, and while I don't always love the back stories they do on people, some people's journeys are really touching and gives hope for humanity.  Some performances just make me smile and fill me with happiness.  Magic acts that make you go, "waaaaa, how'd he do that??".  It takes you into a totally different world.  Perhaps we'll see one when we go to Vegas later this year.

My cat, Acro, is being lovey at the moment, hardly letting me type.  He's on my lap as is my laptop.  He keeps getting jealous and nips at my wrists or tries to grab my arm altogether.  "Pay attention to me, he says!"  While there's nothing like the love of your child, the love our pets can show us can be so special.  Our cats are indoor cats so they don't know much about the world.  They cower away so easily.. but they love us so unconditionally... when they want.  They're cats after all!  "Rub my belly, but just twice or I'll scratch the living daylights out of you".  ;)

Well, I don't want to give all my happy thoughts away in one day.  But these things made me happy today and have a potential to make me happy again - by just thinking about these things, or seeing them, or living them.  If I can think of so many happy thoughts in one day, perhaps there is hope for me after all.  What made you happy today?  Do you have favorite happy thoughts or moments?